January 7, 2013

Wipe Your Own Asses!

I'm throwing in the toilet paper.

Eight long years I have been at it, but today I am resigning my post as the official ass wiper of my kids. Oh there won't be any parades or awards banquets involved, although a ceremonial last flush should be in order I suppose.

I don't know how my kids are going to react to this, I am sure they will probably put up a stink, but it's time.  Sure it's been less and less with Tyler in the past couple of years, but there are those times... well we won't paint the picture completely.  Carter on the other hand has me thinking that he has NEVER wiped his own butt.  He has never made a mess of himself completely, but there will be a day.  A day that most likely I will not be there to see, nor care to.

So all I can do now is sit back and supply them with ample amount of toilet paper and hope that they get the job done. I hope that my eight years of training have suited them well for what nature throws at them, or throws out of them.  Good luck boys... and make sure that you flush the toilet.

Make sure you shoot straight as well


John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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11 comments:

  1. post post modern dadJanuary 7, 2013 at 2:27 PM

    I got one kid still potty training, another who needs help wiping at times, one who REFUSES to deal with her bowel issues, and another who has soft muscle "issues" and we have to find a balance of medication versus constipation. Want to trade?

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  2. ScottJanuary 7, 2013 at 2:27 PM

    Congrats to being finished. No longer will I call you Daddys In Charge of Ass Wiping in my home while talking to Tracy. I just hope your boys dont use the ENTIRE roll each time they take that throne.

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  3. DaddysinchargeJanuary 7, 2013 at 2:43 PM

    I don't think the younger one will ever use toilet paper.

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  4. DaddysinchargeJanuary 7, 2013 at 2:44 PM

    Who are you again?

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  5. SONny Side JenJanuary 7, 2013 at 3:37 PM

    Way to stand your ground! Now it'll only be your problem if you have to wash their underwear...or sit too close to them ;)

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  6. ihopeiwinatoasterJanuary 7, 2013 at 4:28 PM

    Thank you for not making a LEGO video for this one. I just had our toilet unstopped because I let them use those wet-wipey things. Plumber said "if it ain't toilet paper or didn't come out of you don't put it down the toilet."

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  7. DaddysinchargeJanuary 7, 2013 at 5:44 PM

    I'll let mom take care of that.

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  8. DaddysinchargeJanuary 7, 2013 at 5:44 PM

    I've done poop. The movie was crappy.

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  9. juliJanuary 7, 2013 at 5:55 PM

    So glad those days are behind me.... and now belong to the appropriate "behinds".

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  10. Andi-RooJanuary 9, 2013 at 11:26 AM

    Girls are SOOOOOOOO much easier than boys! I haven't wiped my 8yo daughter's ass since I can't remember when! *ugh*... why do boys have to be so grody???

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  11. Portland DadJanuary 9, 2013 at 8:30 PM

    I have done the same though as the one doing the laundry I have a hard time with this decision from time to time

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