February 27, 2011

The Cowardly Lion has Found His Courage

It's been quite a while since we have seen a picture like this. For almost three years Carter has been deathly afraid of characters, this includes Santa Claus. We have not had a picture of Carter NOT screaming or asleep with a character since he saw Goofy when he was almost one. It's been kind of hard because my oldest loves the characters more than anything but when Carter would go near all hell breaks loose.

Something happened though on our most recent trip on The Disney Dream cruise ship and I don't have any idea what changed. Perhaps it was a visit to Oz, but our little psycho, character-non-liking son actually posed with some of them, looking forward in fact to giving them a high five. The little man had developed some courage.

This turn of events is HUGE! We are a Disney loving family but waiting to see the characters has always been a big problem. While the oldest boy always looked forward to meeting his favorites, namely Mickey and Goofy, the wait would always be too much to bear with our youngest. What are parents to do in that situation other than split up and take one to see the characters and the other to go see where people made doody. A side note on family trips to Europe Carter was always fascinated where people made number two in castles, I know pretty sick right? Anyway, my wife never got to see half the photos of Tyler with the characters as she was always with Carter somewhere, until now. Knowing how Carter is however this might not last as you never know what life with him will be like tomorrow.

At least for now though we can enjoy a trip to Disney and not have to worry that Mickey might get his giant stuffed head ripped off. For one week my little man has the courage of the mightiest of lions.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?


February 24, 2011

Living the Dream... The Disney Dream

Four days aboard the Disney Dream has been just that, a dream. This boat is the third of the Disney fleet with the Fantasy debuting some time next year being the fourth. For those of you that are fans of Disney, which most parents of small kids are, this ship is everything that you would expect. From the entertainment, to the food, to the characters Disney goes all out. There is certainly something for every age on this ship, although I would not recommend parents without kids partaking in this cruise.

I will have a much more extensive review including guest bloggers in a future post, but here are some quick observations about this four day trip. I guess I have been spoiled a little bit by going on a good number of cruises including the Oasis of the Seas, the gigantic megaship offered by Royal Caribbean, but I was a little bit disappointed by the public spaces offered on this cruise. One day at sea convinced me that the family pool area should have been much bigger. My youngest son got very frustrated by not being able to practice his belly flop. Take this as what it is because every other kid had fun although they were right on top of each other. The pool itself IS larger than that of the other Disney cruise ships, and this is made possible by the addition of Nemos Reef, a shaded spray area for kids under eight years old. This is a great improvement over the other ships as there really was no place for the un-potty trained kids to play in the water.

My kids loved the waterslide but were too short to go on the Aquaduck. A 48" height limit made enjoying one of the coolest AT SEA gimmicks off limits to them. I was able to sneak away for 20 minutes and ride the water coaster and it really is pretty cool, something to do at least once as the line was never more than 20 minutes. Note to parents with kids under 48", do not hype this ride up, they will not be able to ride.  (Note... on our subsequent three day sailing the height limit was lowered to 42, and the lines were MUCH longer)

The main attraction of the boat, for parents and kids, is the kids club, the Oceaneers Club and Lab. While my oldest wished there was a slide like that on the Disney Magic, spoiled little son of mine, they have updated this area to include Andy's room from Toy Story, a Monsters Inc. room and a spot called Pixie Hollow where the kids can do arts and crafts. That is only half of the space as my kids didn't even venture over to the Lab side, where mote fun awaits them. I don't think that there is a kid in the world that wouldn't have fun in there. I wish they would have put as much thought into the adult areas.

After dropping the kids at the Club there were many places for the adults to hang out including my favorite bar on the boat Currents.

There is something about hanging out outside and drinking a cocktail that is much more appealing than being cooped up inside. This by the way is the BEST place to watch the fireworks on Pirates night, no crowds like there are at midship where everyone gathers to jostle for a viewing position. As far as the inside bars, let's be honest the wife will get cold outside, we tended to gravitate towards a bar called Skyline where the scenery changes every 15 minutes giving you a view of five different cities around the world, a pretty cool idea. There is a sorts bar for the dads if what you want to watch something on ESPN, Disney of course. Luckily for me there was a Syracuse basketball game on TV. My only complaint was that it was not in HD, I guess being out at sea I should feel lucky that there was TV at all, so I shouldn't complain. Overall though I thought the spaces were small and somewhat misplaced, though the service was great and they had the beer that I wanted, so who really can complain?

The boat itself is very tastefully done but seems a bit tight. The hallways are very narrow and the layout can be quite confusing but something you can easily figure out. There are three family restaurants and the best is by far Animator's Palate where you get to spend your evening with the characters from Finding Nemo. I still don't completely understand how Turtle Talk with Crush works but you can have a conversation with the animated Turtle while you eat your dinner. It really is amazing and something kids of all ages will love, of course you have to get them to eat.

The bottom line is while there were some things that bothered me about this ship you cannot go wrong on this cruise. Some of the design layouts left a little to be desired but I was really nitpicking trying to find things wrong on this ship. What do you look for when you go on a cruise? Food, check. Entertainment, check. Things for the kids to do, CHECK, CHECK, CHECK. Those are three things that Disney does better than anybody, and I haven't even mentioned their private island which is BY FAR the best in the business. I would assume that you are looking into this trip as a FAMILY and not some whacko grown up Donald Duck fan (sorry if anyone takes offense to that statement, not meant to make anyone mad.)   Any family would have a wonderful time on this ship, I know mine did.

By the way there are characters on this boat as you would expect, they are not everywhere and don't come to dinner with you. You can take cute pictures with the kids and be done with it, much like we did. This boat even got my son Carter to pose with the characters, something he has never done.

I will have a much more detailed review including entertainment and island stops as my wife and son would like to comment as well about this trip.

Here is a story about my son Tyler and a trip we had aboard the Disney Magic 4 years ago.  An almost tragic day turned us into even bigger  Disney fans.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?


February 20, 2011

Mom's (Dad's) Night Out

With the wife sound asleep, too much partying perhaps, the opportunity arose to have a true ladies night out. Why not I thought, any housewife gets tired of slaving over the dishes, the laundry, and rubbing their husbands feet, and I am no different. Now I have not undergone any sort sex change operation or injected myself with any hormones but I am a man and I have needs too.

Part of me felt as if I was on some sort of secret mission to a place where few men get to go, to see what these women do when their men are not around. But the other part of me felt like I would be breaking some sort of secret code of wifehood if I did indeed report on the things that I saw go on last night. I am sure that you have it in your head that these women were crazy, drunk, and foul mouthed drinking tequila and apple martinis, but I am not allowed to tell you that (wink, wink.) What I am allowed to say is it was a completely tame crowd, a somewhat sophisticated evening of intelligent women discussing the economy and what the happenings in Egypt mean for us in the United States.

No one will ever know what truly went on last evening. The secret dies with Liz and I. I will say the moments are etched in my brain and as a man for one night I got to see how the other half lives. I won't break wifecode. I know the truth. For one night and one night only I was a (wo)man.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?


February 19, 2011

Long Distance Relationships... They Can Work

Long distance relationships never work. You have that dream job in Boise and your girlfriend gets her dream job in Kalamazoo, what are you going to do? Aside from hanging yourself because you live in Idaho and Michigan you try to make the relationship work, eventually the distance is just too much to overcome, and the relationship dies.
It never seems that way though when you are a kid. We are currently on vacation in Florida visiting my wife's lifelong friend Liz who we see twice a year if we are lucky. Her two girls Madison and Julia and my two boys couldn't be better friends, it's as if they see each other everyday. In this case distance truly does make the heart grow fonder. It really amazes me how well kids can play together sometimes regardless of how long it's been since they have seen each other. I have a bunch of friends that live on Long Island that I never get to see, from New Jersey to Long Island can take longer than flying to Florida sometimes, hence we never go. When we do go though it's the same thing, our kids are all best friends it a matter of minutes.  While we as parents share a bond with our friends, after a few minutes it's as if we are there because our kids are so close.

I guess the key to the long distance relationship is to never grow older than ten years old and to live somewhere where people want to visit. I mean if my wife's friend lived in Boise or Kalamazoo we would probably never visit them and the kids would never be so close. I wish all of our fiends lived closer so our kids could play all the time but unfortunately that's not the case. It's nice to know though that despite the distance the kids can have BEST friends wherever we go.
BTW... I have nothing against either Boise or Kalamazoo, just random examples of places that I have never been to or probably never will visit. I am sure that they are lovely places with a lot of great kids. Kids I am sure mine would get along with great.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?


February 18, 2011

Lost at Sea...

This was the last photo that we took of Tyler on November 14th, 2006... little did we know that a few hours later it could have been the last, forever.  Tyler had not been feeling well prior to our Disney Cruise, it seemed like a cold but nothing more.  He acted perfectly normal which for Tyler meant that he was the most awesome boy around.  He was running a fever but we treated it with the usual assortment of Tylenol and Motrin.  We also figured that as the genius parents that we are that we would let him play in the pool.  Boy was that a mistake.  Three hours after this photo was taken in the middle of a performance of Hercules, while sitting on my lap, my wife noticed that Tyler was turning blue and not breathing.  A parents worst nightmare was occurring, only ours was on a boat three hours out to sea on our way to the Bahamas.

We ran out of the theater screaming for a doctor, a nurse, really anyone that could help.  We had no idea what was going on with our child, but our only thought that was of the absolute worst.  Tyler was having a seizure and there was nothing that we could do to stop it.  Seeing my son in a nonresponsive state has to be the most frightening thing I have ever seen in my life.  I didn't know what to think, but it crossed my mind that the worlds greatest son was going to die.  As luck would have it, the ships hospital was located two floors directly below the theater and medical care was with us in a flash thanks to some excellent crew members.  Tyler did come out of his seizure and the next couple of hours were just a blur.  Between being in contact with the ships doctor, the boats Captain, and not knowing what the hell just happened to my child, my mind was in some sort of foggy state.  The doctor had decided that the best thing for us was to get off the boat and get to a hospital, ON THE MAINLAND.  The decision was made to turn the boat around and head back to Florida.  We are talking a boat with 3000 people on it making a U-turn in the middle of the Atlantic, not a very easy task.  The only other option was to fly by helicopter, an option fortunately we didn't have to take.

Getting off the boat was somewhat surreal.  We were met by an ambulance and the paramedics hustled us off the boat.  I looked up at the massive ship and could see hundreds of people gathered on the outside decks and their state room balconies.  I remembered giving some sort of half assed thumbs up, you know the kind you see when a football player gets carried off on a stretcher, after suffering some sort of head injury.  We were whisked to the hospital where it was determined that Tyler had suffered a febrile seizure, a seizure caused by sudden increase in body temperature, well Tyler as you recall had a cold but it turns out he actually had pneumonia.  What the hell kind of parents were we to take a kid on a Caribbean vacation with pneumonia, and stick him in a cold pool no less.  Ones that had no idea this could happen but have definitely learned their lesson.  

Everything turned out OK on that trip.  Tyler got the proper medication, and Disney did a wonderful job of making sure we still enjoyed our vacation by letting us stay in one of their beautiful hotels and giving us tickets to the park.  Something they didn't have to do, but when your business caters to making families dreams come true, it is something I will always be thankful for.

Doctors have told us that these sort of seizures have no lasting effects to the body and that they would be something he would eventually grow out of.  He has had some more seizures over the years including another surreal moment in rural France, something I will get into another day.  They are still a very scary thing to witness but we know what they are now and what to do.  Overall he has been a healthy little boy and the type of kid that makes his father proud on a daily basis.  I bring this story up because we are going on a Disney Cruise this weekend, and while he is totally healthy I always get it in the back of my mind what could happen.  Carter was a little sick this past week with a bit of a cold and while I don't think that Tyler caught anything and will be fine for this trip, you never know.  Who knew the events of that day in November could have happened either.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?


February 17, 2011

A Hairy Situation

Carter's hair has always been a sticky subject, he never wants to get it cut and so it just grows and continues into some sort of rats nest.  In fact the other day we found a lego clone trooper stuck inside it that we have been looking for for over a week.  We don't comb it, just kind of push it over to one side, however he wakes up is how he goes to school.  I think its cute, because that is Carter, he has always had some craziness to his hair, just adds to his personality.  But I wonder if we were the type of parents that combed his hair everyday would Carter be the same, who knows.  I am sure there is some sort of study done based on the correlation of hair to personality and I am sure it says that we are awful parents  because we don't comb his hair on a daily basis, whatever.  As long as there has been Carter and hair in particular his hair has gotten out of control, witness some of these images.  

I don't know how many times we have actually gotten this kid a haircut in his almost four years but it is probably less than five.  He NEVER wants to get his hair cut because he say he doesn't want to lose his curls, he probably learned that from us, and that it is going to hurt.  Like he has some sort of ability to feel his hair tips, who knows maybe he does.  Maybe we should have introduced him to the barber earlier on his life and taken him more often but you know as a parent you see how a kid looks and you don't want to change it.  It's especially that way with the first hair cut.  They go in looking like a baby and coming out looking like a big kid.  It's totally traumatizing.  Every time we take Carter in for a hair cut he comes out looking like a different kid, totally un-Carterlike.

Then you realize that it is not the hair that makes Carter the way he is, its just Carter being Carter.  He is always going to be a little more wild than most, regardless of what he has on top of his head.  Are we bad parents for not getting our son a haircut more often so he doesn't look like a little homeless child?  If thinking you have the most adorable son and don't want to change a thing about him is a bad thing, then I am guilty as charged.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?


February 16, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

Some other blogs that I read have this idea I though I would give it a try.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?


February 15, 2011

Hey Mom You Are Making Me Look Bad!

Yesterday was Valentine's Day and with that comes the kids parties at school.  Well obviously I missed out on mom training because Carter came home with a goodie bag with everything from pencils, to bubbles, even slinkies.  The slinky doesn't work like a slinky so at least I didn't come up with that stupid idea.  Anyway what did I send Carter to school with yesterday, an envelope of cards.  Thats it,  just cards.  No cards with candy attached to them, or erasers, which by the way what three year old uses an eraser.  The next time Carter erases something that he has scribbled on the wall will be the first time.  There were no lollipops, or activity books, or bags of popcorn, just a card, one with Iron Man on it though!  My point is that these are things you don't learn in Dad School, moms you are making me look bad!


Its seems that every time someone at school is celebrating a birthday Carter comes home with some new treat.  I mean aren't WE supposed to get THEM a treat for their birthday?  How was I supposed to know that this was standard protocol.  They NEVER did this when Carter was in daycare.  All of a sudden you change the name to a preschool and all the old rules get thrown out the window.  COME ON!!!   Whatever happened to the old saying "Less is more?"  I guess its time to step up my game with this, the fight is on!  Hey Mom, you know what your kids are getting for Carter's birthday this year?  Ponies for the girls and motorcycles for the boys!  Oh and generic bubbles and a box of stolen Cracker Barrel crayons... game on!

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?


February 14, 2011

The End of an Era

Well it happened... Carter's shoe finally fell apart, a big giant hole broke out where his big toe would be.  Now I knew this day was coming as these crocs never leave his feet. Yes we have had near record snowfall, but he continued to wear them through rain, sleet, snow, and dark of night.   Much like a postman with his appointed rounds you could count on Carter to be walking around with these shoes on. My last blog I talked of buying a car and how much I disliked the process, well I think that this is going to be even worse. He has grown very attached to these shoes, I can't even tell you when we got them for him, and he is very much a creature of habit, notice the orange shorts, he has worn them everyday for the past two weeks.  I almost think it would have been better for him to lost a foot or something.

We as parents probably feed into his craziness by not wanting to get him upset so naturally he wears the crocs all the time.  I honestly don't care what he wears on his feet as long as he has something, but what am I going to do now?  I have a couple pairs of sneakers that he could wear but I don't think that there is any chance of me getting them on his feet tomorrow.  I do have an old pair of crocs that used to be Tyler's but they seem a little bit too big.  This reminds me, I don't like the sizing of these sandals because you are either an 8/9 or a 10/11.  Give me a 9/10!  Obviously Carter's feet are to big for the smaller size but they are way too small for the bigger size.  I need something just right.  Where is Goldilocks when you need her?

I will have to admit it was kind of sad seeing a giant hole in his shoes.  Those Crocs WERE Carter and not seeing them on his feet will leave a little empty feeling.  It really is the end of an era, my boy is getting bigger by the day, at least his feet are anyway.  As for those 3T shorts, the way the rest of Carter is growing, we should be safe for a couple of more years.  Lets hope so anyway.

By the way for those with an Iphone or an Ipad, who just need to get to my blog on the go, I have created a little icon that you can add to your homescreen to follow my blog.  Just click on the add to homescreen button and instead of a generic webpage you will have a picture of my two boys on your phone, its that easy to follow the life we lead, give it a shot.   Just another easy way to keep in touch with the Willey universe.  For those without an iphone, well I don't know how other phones work so I suggest that you go get yourselves one.  Thanks for reading.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?


February 11, 2011

You Want How Much?

Its time to get a new car. The lease is up on our Odyssey and it's not a time I am looking forward to. Shopping for a car is just such a pain in the ass. You always get the idea that the guy on the other side of the desk is pulling a fast one on you. You could get a car for five dollars but he knows you could have gotten it for four. Why can't I walk into a dealership like its a McDonalds look at the prices and get what I want? If I want chocolate milk with my happy meal they don't have to consult with their manager and come back with a different price. Just figure out what is the least you can offer the car to me, give me that price and move on. The constant haggling reminds me of a Caribbean beach, only you walk out a little less satisfied.
There are just too many options you have to consider, obviously we have to have a rear entertainment system in the car even though the kids have not watched a movie in months. There will be that one day when they want to watch Cars, of course and that movie will cost us 1700 dollars. Can we get a car with a built in Wii? Or how about the ability to stream movies so we don't have to carry around DVDs anymore? It just seems so archaic nowadays. Maybe I will just buy the most basic model of car and tell my boys to suck it up like I used to, shoved in the back of the Nova with my two brothers. If they want all these great gadgets they can negotiate it themselves.

Posted by Daddy's in Charge? mobile unit

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?


February 9, 2011

On the Go

Sometimes you just get the urge to write and of course that doesn't always happen when you are sitting in front of the computer. In fact most of my ideas happen when I am out and about, so I just added the ability to blog on the go. Much like my old job news doesn't happen in the comfy confines of a newsroom, it happens all around us. This is not to say that what my kids might or might not do should be considered news, just that not all of their antics happen in our basement. Think of my phone now as a mobile Daddy's in Charge? newsroom, minus of course the satellite dish or the brain frying microwave transmitter. Its amazing that partially what got me out of television is what i am doing now. I guess my background as a journalist did come in handy as I now "report" from the front lines of family life. I will never interrupt any programming for special reports about my kids eating dinner at McDonalds or going to the bathroom at a filthy gas station. I cannot rule out coverage of game winning soccer goals or solos at concerts. Some things just need to be shared right away, and judging by my memory most cannot wait until I get home. In this time of instant access to information, why should I not give people what they crave. I mean seriously who would not want more of my kids?

At Philadelphia Please Touch Museum, pretending to be doctors

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John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?


February 7, 2011

A Re-design, Re-branding, Re-whatever

The Daddysincharge website will be undergoing a major overhaul to give you the reader a much more user friendly experience.  It will give me a much better way of communicating to my legions of fans, namely my niece and sister-in-law.  While the majority of the new content will be about the day to day time with my kids and our adventures, I am going to add much more to give you a better idea of how a family runs in our current setup.  This isn't just about how I deal with things.  Their are three other people that make this family function; two kids, Tyler and Carter, who give me most of what I am able to write about, and my wife, who without her support none of this would even remotely be possible.  While I am the one that sacrificed a career in Television News to stay home and raise my two kids, my wife has sacrificed much more, namely time away from her family so she could support us all.  Lets be honest here, without the support of a GREAT wife the whole idea of a stay at home dad would not even be a blip on the radar.  So lets raise our glasses and give a huge shout out to all the working moms out there that support the craziness at home.  Without them we would just be dads.
So in the meantime bear with me as I continue to add uselessful content to this site.  There will be links that go nowhere as a I continue to learn how to make this thing grow.  Computer programming is not my forte, I am a trained journalist remember, and a fine good one at that.  Stay tuned as you watch the adventure unfold!

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?


February 3, 2011

Why is Daddy in Charge?

It almost seems cliche nowadays, I am a stay at home dad.  I have actually grown tired of that phrase as really what's the difference between mom and dad being there to raise the kids.  Obviously there are things that mommy can do that daddy can't like breastfeeding, something by the way I would encourage all fathers to recommend to their wives as it is not only healthy for the child but hey it gets you out of EVERY over night feeding.  I used to think that our children slept through the night from day one.  I guess I was wrong, as people tell me that kids generally don't sleep well until they are like 6 months old.  Who knew?  Dads aren't all useless of course, we do take out the garbage from time to time and make sure that the toilet seat is warm for subsequent users.

I mean how hard can it be to raise a child?  You water it twice a day and put a bowl of food on the floor so they don't go hungry.  Seems pretty basic stuff.  Why does mommy need to be their for things like that when daddy can certainly dump out the ash tray as to not confuse the child.  They get a scratch?  Rub a little dirt on it.  Like mommy is going to buy Elmo bandaids and put Neosporin on their little boo boos?  Please.  Does a child really need to know the alphabet or count to ten?  If it's a boy shouldn't they just know a bunch of random numbers that when we get older we call stats anyways?  How often do these little things really need to have a bath anyway?  Once every other week maybe?  Depending on whether of course you went to the beach, the ocean is right there.

I think as a dad the everything gets a little streamlined.  My diaper bag always consisted of one (usually) diaper and if I was lucky to remember them, wipes.  Thats it.  No fancy creams or extra onezies.  I mean seriously we are not going off to war with these kids, do we need a duffel bag full of stuff?  Toys?  They can get by on a squeaking turtle.  I only have two arms, one for my beer and one for the rest of the six pack.  You want me to use a sling?  Really, shouldn't they be walking when they come out of the womb?  I've seen horses do it and they have to control FOUR legs.

I think if you were to ask my boys if they are happy to have dad around, they would probably say yes.  I like to think that I am a pretty good dad.  For instance tomorrow I am going to teach them how to start a fire.  It's the first thing you would learn at any survival school so I think it's a good skill to have.  It's all about teaching them useful things and what's the harm in that?

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?


The Curious Case of Carter Blake

I know that most kids have their little quirks, and mine are no different.  Its these little things that makes us love them more.  Carter is just one of those little boys, yes he is a little boy now, that takes quirkiness to the extreme.  Or maybe he is no different than others, you tell me.  It was a snow day yesterday, a topic for a whole other blog, so I decided to take the kids out for a much deserved lunch date with daddy.  Ok it really was more we wanting to get out of the house, as you can only play with so many legos, and time just seems to go faster when you are not cooped up inside.  A good break to the day.

Both boys wanted pancakes, which I am fine with, they could eat them at every meal if I would let them.  Its all they eat in The Netherlands right?  It was then I noticed something strange with the way Carter was eating, he was eating from the inside out and leaving the outer rim of the the little silver dollar cakes.  Somewhat bizarre but I for a three year old probably seems pretty normal.  I mean who cares HOW they eat it as long as the DO eat it.


As much as the boys like pancakes, they LOVE donuts.  The problem with where we live, like most in the northeast, is that there is a Dunkin Donuts on every corner and just so happens to be one almost right across the street from where Carter goes to school.  He could eat donuts at every meal.  I actually caught him the other day hiding behind a chair eating his brothers donut.  What a little sneak.  Anyway Carter has a curious way of eating these little treats,  HE ONLY EATS THE OUTSIDE leaving the hole in the middle.  What happens if he comes across a pancake donut?  Who knows, maybe the world will end or something if these two delicacies were to ever collide.  I think Carter's brain would explode, because he would have no idea how to eat it.

I guess we all have our little intricacies that make us special.  My mom still makes comments about the way I eat pie, always eat the top with the fruit filling, then the bottom, then the crust.  I don't know why I eat that way, always have always will I guess, just one of those little things that makes ME special.  As for Carter I hope he is still leaving the holes in his donuts when he gets to be my age, but if he is still eating pancakes the way he did yesterday that would just be strange.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?


February 1, 2011

Enough With the Panties!

I swear it never ends.  The washing machine in my house is constantly buzzing, 24/7.  I didn't realize that I opened up up  laundromat it my house, and the sad thing is I don't get paid for this.  I swear I must do laundry everyday, whether its a sheet that someone peed on, not me fortunately, or towels, or just clothes.  Its not stop activity in my laundry room.

Look at all of these symbols.  How many different ways can I possibly do this stuff?  The kids need there things washed one way, the wife needs her things washed another way, and as for mine well I don't really care as long as it smells clean.  I used to sort out the clothes based on color, you know whites with whites colors with colors, never the two shall meet.  Well that was before this craziness.  All the kids stuff goes in on warm and fast cycle, the wife's cold and slow, mine I have no idea, by the time I get to it my head is stuck in the spin cycle.  I think I have only screwed up a couple of things.  One of my wife's sweaters came out looking like it would fit a teddy bear.  I look at the positive, total boob shirt if you know what I am saying.  Nothing has ever come out pink that wasn't supposed to be pink thank God, but a couple of times I have washed and dried a diaper which can get quite messy.  Picture all of those super absorbent diaper crystals all over the inside of the washer, yeah not fun.  My wife thinks I don't do the laundry enough, at least hers anyways.  There is just too much of a science to her clothes, I mean some things can get cleaned regularly other I have to use Woolite, I just don't know anymore... so it sits until I get the mandate.  Sometimes I feel like Cinderella not being able to go to the ball until all the laundry is done.  I don't think I will ever be able to go at this rate. 

I guess its not so much the cleaning that bothers me, I mean its not like I have to go out in the backyard and beat these things on a rock, its all the folding!  Everything has to be folded so neatly as to not have one wrinkle, because God forbid you have a wrinkle in front of someone, how embarrassing!  Ironing?  Forget it.  I iron once every six months when I have to put a dress shirt on.  Its really why I don't go to fancy events.  That and there is just too much laundry to do.  CALGON TAKE ME AWAY!

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?