I'm a pretty simple guy.
Father's Day is never a day that I have really cared about much. I don't need anyone to celebrate me or put me on a pedestal. I find it all awkward. Whenever I am asked what I want for Father's Day or what I want to do, I always respond that it doesn't matter. I honestly don't care. We could go to a ball game, watch the boys play ball, head to the beach, whatever we would normally do on any given Sunday in the summer is fine by me. All I ask is that you don't go crazy buying things. I have enough stuff and if I want anymore, I can go get it myself. Here are 22 things I don't want to get on Father's Day:
- One of those "Hands Down Best Dad" Shirts. I'll never wear it and besides being a dad is not a competition.
- Breakfast in bed. I would be too worried about spilling coffee all over the bed.
- Flavored popcorn. I have a microwave. I can pop it myself.
- Some sort of golf gadget. I have clubs, it's all I need to play golf
- Fruit of the Month Club membership. They have grocery stores I can go to. I don't need overpriced produce.
- Coffee. I can't tell the difference between good and bad coffee.
- A blender. That's for my wife.
- A personalized calendar. There is an app on my phone for that.
- Flowers. They die.
- A spatula. I can't tell you how many of these I have in my house.
- Tickets to a show/game/play/anything. The last thing I want is to be forced to make future plans.
- Scotch. It makes me gag.
- Chocolate. I will eat too much and get fat.
- A wallet. The one I have has perfectly conformed to my butt. A new one would be too uncomfortable.
- Anything from a drug store.
- A store bought card. Save the $3.99 and buy yourself some gum. (Just don't chew it around me)
- Car wax. Who the hell has time to wash their own car?
- A photo book. That's my thing for Mother's Day.
- A watch. My phone tells time.
- A tie. The last time I wore a suit was a Bar Mitzvah three years ago.
- A Roomba. I have a robotic vacuum cleaner in my garage that has never seen the light of day.
- Something in a picture frame. I don't have a desk to display it.
|Anything like this stuff I MIGHT allow|