January 24, 2012

My Boys Will be Boob Men

Every now and then I get sucked into these online arguments over a woman's right to breastfeed in public.  It really amazes me that in this day and age this sort of thing is an issue.  I just don't understand how people could be so closed minded about this, it's a woman feeding her child, that's it.  If it is seen as anything else, that's YOUR problem.

My friend Scott down in Georgia has been championing women's rights for some time.  I first came in contact with him when the whole Forest Park, Georgia breastfeeding ban was being proposed.  He was adamant that day and he has not let up since on his stance that women should be allowed to breastfeed their children pretty much anywhere that they need to.

Well it hasn't stopped since, it seems not a day goes by that I don't see a tweet from him slamming someone that has said something stupid about a woman breastfeeding.  I'll give you an example of the idiocy that goes on in this world; these are actual tweets from real people:


Yeah really!

It seems that her child was hungry, how dare he want to eat something.  If you were to follow this particular idiots twitter stream she went on to say that public bathrooms are there for a reason, and that the mom should use it to feed her child.

My response?

I think that if this moron is so offended, she should get up and go eat her popcorn in the comfort of the theater's bathroom.  I mean how stupid could she be?  Why on Earth should ANYONE be forced to sit on a toilet and feed their child.  I will say it again, that mother is feeding her child, just like anyone else that feeds their children chicken nuggets or pizza.  If you have such a problem with it, MOVE.  I am sure that mother would be more than happy to not have your stupid ass sitting next to her anyway.


Now it doesn't stop with movie theaters, you can find people everywhere that have an issue with breastfeeding.  I am sure in this case the mother didn't want to be feeding her child in church but when they're hungry they're hungry.  It's not unlike my boys who constantly ask for snacks and won't stop begging me until I give in.  I would ask this person if they would have an issue with me offering my child a cheese stick in church. There really is no difference.  I am satisfying my child's need to feed.  How dare I do such a thing? Another issue I have with this is, what the hell are you doing tweeting in church?  Shut your phone off and get to the business at hand.  I am sure there are more people upset with you interrupting Gods work by tweeting on your phone, than are upset about the bond between a mother and child.

Seriously people, GROW UP!


Shocking that a mother would feed her kids at the Grocery Store, I know.  After all that is where you buy food and all.  I would ask this semi famous NASCAR driver if it was OK for a mom to pull a candy bar off the shelf and give it to their child, it's no different, except that feeding the child breast milk is WAY more nutritious.  What I can't believe is that he would buy himself a six pack of Budweiser?  Has he no shame? I just lost my appetite.


Why do moms do it?  Why don't they just let their kids starve?  Why won't a mother just let her kid scream uncontrollably when she knows that her child is hungry?  It makes no sense to me.  How dare THAT mom want to offer her child the food that they need?  I would ask Justin if has ever eaten a sandwich or chomped on a granola bar in the park. It's no different.  Except that I am sure that he would look like  the pig that he is doing it.


What is this world coming too that people would question a mother's right to feed her child?  The fact that there are so many stupid people out there that can't handle this nonissue just baffles me. I will say it again, if you have a problem with what you see , that's YOUR problem. If you see it as anything other than lunch or dinner, you have to get your head examined.

I am sure that most breastfeeding mothers are as discreet as possible when they feed their children, I know my wife was.  Do you really think that mothers want to walk around with their boobs hanging out all over the place?  I would have to think that they don't.  It can't be comfortable for them knowing that there are such stupid people in this world that would question what they are doing.  I would say instead of being disgusted by what a breastfeeding mother is doing, tell her how awesome she is for feeding her child. 

My boys will grow up in a world where women feed their babies however they want to. If that means a bottle in the comfort of their living room or a breast on a crowded subway, it shouldn't matter.  

I want my boys to be boob men, just like their old man*

*I also like nice eyes too 


John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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80 comments:

  1. WOW. Man that is a great f-ing post. I love it. Great coverage of the insane tweets and comments to them also. Im sorry I get you in on these things....Wait, no Im not. I love how dads and husbands stick up for their wives and other mothers and wives as well. Makes us better men to have a voive of support. You are a great dad and husband and I am glad to say I know you.

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  2. I'm not even getting into the obvious benefits here, I just wanted focus on the stupidity of people. The fact that something like this even needs to be said is just ridiculous. I know there are WAY more people in this world that see breastfeeding for what it is and the focus should be on the moms not on morons.

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  3. I got asked to cover up while feeding in a cafe 200 yards from topless sunbathers last year, my OH's supportive response meant the world to me. It really makes a difference, thank you.

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  4. It's so great to see MEN standing up for breastfeeding women - thank you!

    As a religious person, I'm particularly disgusted with the woman tweeting in church! How does she think Jesus was fed?! Does she think Mary left the sanctuary when the Son of God was hungry so as not to offend anyone - NO because it's NATURAL! God made boobs to feed babies! How is that disgusting?! Ug! I don't understand, even if you don't want to look, how you could think it's "nasty".

    Jamie
    For Love of Cupcakes

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  5. Well that is just absurd. Glad to support you!

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  6. There is a video I saw the other day of Sh*T people say to breastfeeding mothers by a site called Free to BreastFeed and the woman who run the website were acting like the ignorant folks you wrote about above. I am still breastfeeding at one year and one month and it makes me happy that my daughter can tell me in Spanish that she wants "teta" in public or at our home than trying to guess what she needs when she was a newborn. We need more dad's like you guys supporting mothers! Thanks for writing the post about the idiocy we have to face.

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  7. Great post ! and love the tweet references as well ! I BF both my girls way past a year and No regrets ... they're both quite healthy! With my oldest she just wud'nt take formula AT ALL, so I was prob one of those moms who were being tweeted about although I was quite discreet ! The current administration passed a law ( March 2010) mandating that employers create a place for moms to express milk so they would'nt have to use a rest room to prepare baby's food.This post from a male point of view is awesome !! love it !

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  8. It is a natural part of life - love that you got Kasey Kahne in on it...I didn't know he shopped, how dare he! Of course you're on the side of whipping tits out in public..not surprising..

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  9. I swear I don't remember if breastfeeding in public was such a touchy subject 12 yrs ago when I had my last baby. Not one person ever made any comments to me, which is good because I was a meaner than sh*t and probably would have said something really nasty. I was always completely covered up so it's not like I was displaying anything.
    I wonder if the fact that through social media we can post pics and/or every random thought we have has exacerbated the issue.
    People find breastfeeding disgusting yet they'll watch porn? I don't get it.

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  10. Wow. I'm just baffled by the stupidity and insensitivity. You're right, most mothers are discreet. I happen to be an extremely modest woman...I keep covered. And yeah, I breastfed my babies anywhere they were hungry.

    Most of these people wouldn't mind a bit if they were sitting next to some young woman in a dress cut down to her belly button, showing off her cleavage for other reasons. But she dare nourish her child in front of them?! Disgusting!

    Thanks for this post. I'm glad your wife has your support and your boys have your example.

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  11. Stupid twatters, I mean tweeters.

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  12. So, she was on her cell in church? Classy.

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  13. I think with things like twitter and Facebook opinions an be expressed more easily. Years ago who did people have to express their opinions too? Probably their like minded friends. My kids were both breastfed and my wife was as discreet as she could have been. I think these people that have issues with it are in the very small minority. I would hope so anyway.

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  14. I'm a leg man myself. Regardless, I agree with you wholeheartedly. Well done. Way to stick up for moms. These people are ridiculous. And you're right... turn off your phone in church.

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  15. Man what an awesome blog. Thank you. it so nice to have a guy stand say this should be a non-issue. I do think the woman who is not only tweeting during church but is also cussing in her tweet should examine why she was even at church because obviously she was there for the wrong reason.

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  16. Breastfeeding is not only natural, but sometimes a difficult and emotional process for a mama. Dad's feel it too, I know my Hubs has been there like a rock since the beginning supporting us in every way possible I even wrote about part of our journey here: www.slightlycrunchymama.com/wean-me-gently. After all the work that is put into a breastfeeding relationship, those tweets kill me a little inside. Thanks for being a stand up dude and what sounds like a rockin dad. Following you now. Can't wait to see what else you have to say!!!

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  17. Great post John! The people that are "disgusted" by breast feeding just amaze me. Both of my boys nursed past a year and I tried to nurse in public as much as I could to help "normalize" it for others. Never got any comments from anyone which is too bad because I would have loved to use the chance to educate them. Or throw a nursing cover over their head. Either way :)

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  18. Always glad to see a dad speaking common sense. Thanks for the support, dude.

    I feed my children whenever/wherever they're hungry. Do I do my best to be discreet? You betcha. I don't want to show my bare breasts to a stranger any more than they want to see them.

    Does that mean I go hide in a dark corner, isolate myself, sit on a filthy public toilet, or pull out a tarp to cover my child and I with? No. But I promise you I don't ever flash a bit of unnecessary boob just the same. In fact, most times I nurse so quietly and discreetly wherever I happen to be than people don't even notice. Even when I'm in the middle of a crowd. It's not rocket science.

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  19. you go girl! I mean, man! way to stick up for boobies and feeding hungry children. People are idiots. Twitter just exposes them more. I'm guilty of being an idiot too, but never about boobies. I got a little off track there, but you know what I mean. Us ladies thank you. I thank you.

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  20. applause, applause, applause!
    the more this message is sent - the better!
    I remember growing up being taught - "vandalism proves one thing: stupidity is hard to hide"
    I believe "social media" can be easily dropped into that very statement and be just as true.

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  21. Super Post! While i wasn't breast fed, I grew up with my aunt feeding my cousins whenever and wherever they decided they were hungry. lol

    I am very used to it myself.

    My big question is this... Big Question? No really... Are these twitter comments coming from people who don't have children? I find that some folks don't or care to understand until it's their turn.

    Great stuff!

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  22. I would reply to each and every comment here, but you see that stupid reply button, it doesn't work for me. It's nice to see that there are so many people that agree with me and it looks like there are only a small minority of people that just don't get it. I feel bad that any woman would feel uncomfortable doing the most natural thing a mother can do for her child. Just know that there are a lot of people out there that do support you.

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  23. I'm a breasfeeding mom and all my son and I have to say is THANK YOU!!

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  24. Love your post! And I have to say Thank you. It means alot to have men, Dads support women breastfeeding.

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  25. Love it!!! Great post and we need more "boob people" in this world ;)

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  26. I just had my third child on the 16th, i am breastfeeding! What I think is funny is how these people who are against breastfeeding were probably breastfed themselves. And what is worse is that there are some people who will actually come up to a mother and say something stupid, it makes me sick, that people will make a mother feel dirty for doing the job that god intended them to do!

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  27. I'm so proud of you Johnny! Yes, these people are idiots. I just wish someone had the you-know-what's to make a comment to ME when I was nursing our boys. Man, they would have regretted it! I never intended on being a nursing Mom, but just so happens that is what was right for our two baby boys. It was the most difficult, painful, rewarding, bonding, joyous experience I've had yet in my life. And as difficult as it was to be a working, nursing Mom... Pumping in closets, while driving, in the office of my company President ... It was worth every second. I wish we videotaped the agony of the first 8 weeks... When I cried in pain every time he latched on, do these idiots could see the sacrifices moms make to feed and bond with their tiny babies.

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  28. YES! Thank you thank you thank you ... so refreshing to hear a man's perspective!!!!

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  29. "I am sure there are more people upset with you interrupting Gods work by tweeting on your phone, than are upset about the bond between a mother and child."

    Bam, nailed it right there. People thinking that self serving social media validation in church is more righteous than feeding your child by means of a natural body function.

    Like what some have already said in the comments section, the collateral damage of the role of social media in today's world means that the thoughts of stupid/ignorant people are now able to be broadcast to the world instead of just their heads or their friends.

    Unfortunately, people need to hold themselves accountable these days as it's pretty much a free for all out there, but just as unfortunate is that many are failing at doing so.

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  30. Loved this post! We don't really see to many dads sticking up for us BF moms so this is very refreshing. The funny thing is, some of these idiots who were tweeting were probably breastfed themselves. Now how would they have felt if their mom ignored their needs in public?! Sad, just sad!

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  31. Love this blog! Funny, true, and a great title. I'm a boob man too. My only issue is when a woman doesn't do it discreetly. I don't care where they breast-feed, but a blanket covering up is just polite.

    I have a funny story about this that dates back 17 years to when my oldest was a baby. I went to a Mommy and Me group 'cause I couldn't find any Dad groups. It was in Santa Moncia/Venice, California - the epicenter of New Age thinking and it was led by a New Age sort of woman - probably a former hippie.

    The women and the leader were all lovely. They got very used to me very quickly. On some occasions, they'd all breast-feed with no concern for a man in their midsts. I literally didn't know where to look! These were young attractive women and I was still a man. It was funny at the time, but really sort of awkward (for me). I love that they respected me enough or were comfortable enough to do it but I do wish they'd covered up...at least in one direction since I'd often literally be surrounded by breasts!

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  32. This is awesome! My only problem with breast feeding in public is if a woman doesn't cover up. I have no problem at all if a woman is breast feeding. Their child is hungry so they are giving them what they need.

    We were eating one night and a woman just popped out her breast and started feeding her child right there in the resteraunt not covered up as little kids and teenager walked by and dropped their jaws.

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  33. Breastfed all 4 of my kids, in public and on a bathroom toilet. Much prefer the comfort of sitting out where people aren't peeing, thank you very much. And that "WTF" from the "church" person. Clearly they need some more time in church with that kind of language and attitude! I love that breastfeeding moms are doing nurse-ins at stores that act as if breastfeeding is an immoral act or something! Love that your boys are boob men, mine are too.

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  34. DUDE.... I read this from my phone and had to get out of bed to tweet the idiots who were mentioned.

    There is nothing so pure as a mom and her baby sharing such a beautiful moment together. I Helped my wife pump whenever she needed it. I was jealous that she was able to provide in a way that I am not anatomically able to do. BUT, those nights at 3 in the morning when my wife would get up to feed our son... I don't think she's ever been as beautiful in my mind.

    The people who tweeted out those things need a labotomy. or a 7.62mm implant in between their eyes.

    Just as Mimi said, I love that your boys are boob men. I'm a BOOB man! and the way I see it..... If a woman want's to feed in public... Cmon HELLOOOOOO Nursing Boobs are BIG boobs.

    Thank you for the post. I plan on following both you and your friend and hope I can advocate in any way possible.

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  35. Nice one. The thing that gets me is some people never fully understand the benefit of breast feeding. We (or she, I suppose) wanted to but couldn't and had to switch to formula. That was really hard on my wife. To see people saying a bunch of dumb crap is ridiculous. And I agree with you, most women aren't just going to throw their tops down in front of everybody and wave 'em all over the place. Just let the kid eat. Its what they "do". lol

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  36. Well that's just absurd... glad to stand by you

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  37. There is nothing wrong with boobs ;-)

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  38. I can see why people jaws would drop, but the more we move toward this being something that is natural and not something that should be covered up the better.  I would hope in the future people can not even think twice about what they see. 

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  39. That's funny I can see why that would be a little awkward for you.

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  40. It's not right, I feel for you on all accounts.  I almost want to go up to them and steal their plate of food.

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  41. I would hope so.  No one really knows anything until they've been put in a situation.

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  42. With everyone tweeting and texting, it's really hard to think about the consequences of what you are saying

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  43. You are not an idiot, you are FUNNY

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  44. That's the way my wife was, half the time my second was in a sling and you never knew he was in there.

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  45. I would have loved to have seen you lay the smackdown!

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  46. I know that breastfeeding is not an easy thing... my wife had a very difficult time, and that someone would say something, anything to you guys, after what you go through emotionally is just wrong.

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  47. I do like legs too.

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  48. Breastfeeding is an emotional thing... To have tidal with idiots on top of it is not fair.

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  49. LOVE! Thank you to all the boob men out there supporting breastfeeding moms! Those tweets are awful!

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  50. THANK YOU for speaking up and in support of women, mothers, and the freedom to feed a child. I especially appreciate the empathy you demonstrate and the emotional intelligence you clearly possess. It is refreshing and encouraging to know my boy will have peers who were raised with similar values.

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  51. I think it's sort of funny that none of these people who are "disturbed" by breast feeding in public seem to be moms/parents... (well they all sound like teenagers, anyway!)

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  52. I think it's sort of funny that none of these people who are "disturbed" by breast feeding in public seem to be moms/parents... (well they all sound like teenagers, anyway!)

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  53. Teenagers, adults, anyone... It doesn't matter. We need to get beyond this.

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  54. Thank you for standing up for Breast feeding moms and breast fed babes.
    I've got to say though it makes me sad to see the number of comments that say breastfeeding id fine with them as long as mom wears a cover. first those things are freaking HOT!! I'm talking sweat tent. If you are one of many moms or baes who don't get the knack immediately breastfeeding requires adjustments and that means you need to see you child in order to adjust them. They also inhibit mother child bonding - staring at your child and they at you as they breastfeed is really important in bonding and with the high indecents of postpartum depression this is really important! Not to mention once your kid gets to the point they can move and start to make their needs know (mine was 2 months) most babies hate those covers and just rip them off anyways. I wore nursing shirts and was discreet too but it's all kind of bullshit to make others around you more comfortable and does nothing to promote breastfeeding.

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  55. You are totally right.  I remember my wife had these shirts that she wore that you couldn't even tell she was breastfeeding.  The last thing anyone wants is to cover up, especially on a hot day.

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  56. I also followed this thread on Twitter and was shocked by what Scott was bringing to my attention.  There isn't much I can add to the already amazing comments but I will just say that I agree and I support a future where women are commended rather than condemned for breast feeding in public.

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  57. Go you! This is a great post!!! If only there were more men out there like you! Can't believe those unbelievable tweets. Thank you for your advocacy!!!!

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  58. I get where you're coming from, but try feeding a baby with a cover over their head. Hell, try eating your meal with a blanket over your head. It's hot, it's stuffy, and it's hard to breathe. If you're lucky they'll just pull the cover off. If you're not they'll throw a fit and then everyone stares at you instead of the handful of people that notice you breastfeeding. Plus a baby who is upset unlatches to cry so people can see your whole boob instead of just the top of it while everything else is covered by baby's head. I assure you, the woman who is feeding her kid to keep it from throwing a fit is doing the best she can to keep everyone else happy. 

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  59. African_Babies_Dont_CryJanuary 29, 2012 at 10:29 AM

    Great post, I too have seen appalling tweets of people complaining about public nursing. As a breastfeeder myself I really just don't understand the logic... shocking. Unfortunately society now views breasts as sexual first, whereas they are first are foremost there to feed our children. 

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  60. Twitter does a very good job at exposing stupid people.

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  61. Why should we mothers EVER leave the house, right? Ha.

    Great post!

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  62. My son refused to be covered up, he wanted to look around. Plus, summers where I live are terribly hot, which makes covering uncomfortable. PLUS those boob covers ate just plain silly looking, IMO. So yeah, I'm a non coverer, and not at all ashamed. Yes, I tried to be discreet, because attracting attention to myself made it harder for my milk to let down. I wore nursing shirts that allowed my son to have easy access. But insisting that every woman cover up is just dumb. If she is comfortable with it then she can go right ahead. But some women, like me, had a hard enough time BFing without trying to juggle an extra piece of equipment. So there :-P

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  63. The author calls a Tweeter an idiot for commenting on a breast feeder in a theater.

    First, the mother is inconsider­­ate to bring her baby in a theater.

    Next, you shouldn't be feeding your kid next to me -- it's loud setting everything up.

    I think your kid can hold off eating for 1.5hrs.

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  64. I really hope you are joking... Loud setting everything up?

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  65. Setting up? Wow...ignorance in it's purest form, right?

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  66. ty for sticking up for breast feeding moms this is america and if my infant is hungry and im in the White House i will pull my boob out and feed it and like you said does people really think we want everyone looking at our boobs NO we just wont let our baby's go hungry Thank You Again

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  67. wonder if ignorant would like to hear a hungry infant CRY for 1.5 hours!  I nursed mine when no one else was - before it became the intelligent thing to do again.  my first grader even drew a dinosaur momma nursing her baby.  So far as he knew, that's how ALL babies are fed.

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  68. Wow. AWESOME. I actually popped over to check out this post because I have a post called My Little Boob Man, and I was curious to read yours!  Mine is a humor post, and I was sort of expecting something funny here too... but this is FANTASTIC. 
    I was absolutely riveted to this post, and I found myself shouting out "Yes, YES!!!" in my mind (my mind also came up with some choice descriptors for those idiots on Twitter). 
    It is SO refreshing to see a man who is so passionate about women's right to breastfeed in public.  You are doing a great service to women everywhere by speaking out, and you are also setting a fantastic example for the men, too.  I think men often say nothing because they feel like it's "unmanly" to regard breasts as anything but sex objects.  THANK YOU for showing that you can be cool, manly, AND in favor of women's rights...all at the same time! 
    A brave post!!!  Thank you!!

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  69. I LOVE this post! I will be sharing! I BF in public and 99% of the time I use a nursing cover but I am always very discreet (truth be told, the cover draws more attention to me. I've had people come up and talk to me without the cover and they had no idea what I was doing). I get the strangest looks and people whisper as they walk by. I've been asked to go to a bathroom at restaurants---to which I replied that they should go eat their lunch in the bathroom if they had a problem with it. They have 359 degrees alternate directions in which to turn their gaze. If my son is hungry, I am going to feed my son.
    Thanks for posting this! 

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  70. You got it! My wife used to breast feed all the time and the shirts that she wore you couldn't even tell she was feeding.

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  71.  I'm adding you to my blog roll and FB. I had a post go completely viral this week and it has sent some good traffic to DKL and the others. I want people to read this so, hopefully, they will find their way here. It is great to have a man writing something positive and supportive about BFing.

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  72. Thank you for this! I've gotten many a nasty glare from feeding my kids in public. When both were babies they would hate blankets over their heads so that wasn't an option. When my second was a baby, my oldest was 2. How in the world was I supposed to sit on a toilet while feeding one and keeping the other entertained? At least my kids weren't screaming. I'd be getting more glares for that one.

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  73. Rock on Thanks!

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  74. It just amazes me that you would have to go through that sort of thing just to make sure your child was fed. Something so simple should not be so difficult.

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  75. For me there are variables to consider.  Is showing nudity involved during the public display of breast feeding? Is there a sign saying "No shoes, no shirt, NO SERVICE!"  In my opinion if a woman can go around breast feeding without a top, then I want to walk around without pants.  If there is a no service type sign, then rules should be followed.  If not followed then again I'm taking my pants off.  To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.  Personally, before anybody decided to type this they should have given it a lot more thought.  If I get a response that they stumbled around on writing this article for 6 months I'll be shocked.  It seems poorly thought out and doesn't weigh everything from other possible angles.  Very biased article that seemed to be brought on by a bit of anger. 

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  76. Of course it's biased... women have a hard enough time emotionally with this issue that they don't need idiots like you comparing their breasts to your penis.  Last I knew that was not a source of food for a feeding child.  The next time I see a mom completely topless feeding her child will be the first time.  Do you think they enjoy feeding their child when jerks like you are staring at them.  I like breasts as much as the next guy but you have to see them for their natural purpose, TO FEED A BABY!  Put your pants back on and get with the year 2012.

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  77. Shared a link to your post in a thread on our page today.  Second time I've linked to it on our Wall.  I keep coming back to this one for its humor and straightforward commentary.  Thanks for giving a voice to the many men who *do* support a woman's right to nurse, or, more accurately, a child's right to eat. 

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  78. Jacquelynn Ankenbauer-RussellNovember 5, 2012 at 8:14 PM

    I applaud you sir! As a woman who has breastfed all my children including my newborn right now I see no reason for all the stupid crap. To us they are just baby feeders once we start breastfeeding not boobs. I wish more people would understand this. Do they not realize that wetnurse used to actually be a job title. Ya know before that shit they call formula...So thank you sir. Its nice to hear a man jump behind us for once!

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