Dear Soccer Dad,
I hope you are enjoying seeing little Billy run around the field with his little soccer ball. I noticed one thing though, you seem to have a lot to say, whether it's to me, the other parents, or the coaches. I kindly request that you shut your trap.
We don't care how good you think your son is going to be, or that you were once a soccer player in high school, it simply does not matter when your son is five. HE IS FIVE YEARS OLD! Come to terms with that and stop telling us that he is the reincarnation of Pele. There is a very good chance that he is not going to be, simply because he is going to hate you and your big mouth and probably quit playing soccer altogether.
|This is not the English Premier League|
I don't want to hear how bad of a job the coaches are doing. This is a rec league with volunteer coaches. Many of them are only coaching because they didn't want to pay the work bond, and they wanted to spend a little more time with their kid. They are not paid professionals! If you have such a problem with them, why did you not step up and be a coach yourself? Probably because you could not handle it and you would spend the entire practice yelling at the kids, something you seem to have no problem doing on the sidelines.
I get the fact that you played soccer in high school and were All County your senior year. That was 20 years ago! You are now pushing 40 and carrying around an extra 40 pounds. You are an overweight loser. Please stop! These are kids out here and what you did back then has no bearing on what little Billy is doing now. He is trying, but chances are he will never be good enough for you.
I don't want to see you yelling at the refs either. They are HIGH SCHOOL KIDS! None of them has ever officiated in a World Cup and I don't even know if they get paid. Sure the kid was probably offsides, but since this is a REC LEAGUE where scores aren't even kept and there is no goalie, I think we should probably let it slide. Perhaps when he gets to be as good as you were, we'll start worrying about those sort of things.
In conclusion, let me remind you that there is no negative yelling allowed at the field. No calling the coaches a bad word, no saying how much another kid sucks, and no berating these poor high school kids that have to deal with stupid parents like yourself.
THIS IS REC FREAKING SOCCER. Let them have fun!