Some days can just be great and crappy all rolled into one.
Such is the first day of school.
|He's a second grader|
My little guy Tyler is getting to be such a big kid. No longer does he rely on me to read and write for him. He still doesn't know how to tie shoes, but he doesn't need me to get him dressed in the mornings. Sure I help him pick his clothes out, but he is fully capable of doing most things all by himself. This is a child that has been putting together 1000 piece lego sets since age three, the boy is a genius.
Milestones always get to me.
I've written about these things in the past - things like losing a tooth and learning how to pump yourself on the swing - while they show just how much a child is growing up, they tell me just how old I am getting. I am not a 30 year old man anymore with a newborn son. My 38th birthday, is right around the corner - September 28th to be exact. After that 40, 50, 60 and next thing you know you are bouncing grandkids on your knee. Everyone tells me that it is wonderful being a grandparent, mainly because you can give the kids back to the parents when you are done.
I don't want to give my kids back.
|He's an awesome BIG kid|
I want them to stay just the way they are, full of innocence with an eagerness to explore new things. I might complain about it a lot, but I want to be there to tie their shoes, pack up a lunch for them, or wipe away their tears when they fall down. I know there will be different stages of life and the boys will always need me to be their father. There will be different things they need my help with later in life - driving a car, tying a tie, and girls. I don't know how much help I will be with them on the last thing though, I am still trying to figure out my wife sometimes.
The first day.
Sometimes I feel it's just a step closer to the last. I need to keep reminding myself I have a full life ahead of me with the boys. If I don't stop focusing so much on the future, I am going to miss everything in the now. There will be a lot of nows - weddings, births, holidays - and if I keep looking ahead so much, I'm going to miss all of it. I can't wake up 50 years from now and wonder where my life went. I need to wake up tomorrow and figure where my life is going.
The first day of school will be crappy no more.