#DiCinDC

All my bags are packed, and I am ready to go.

Off to the Nations Capital to meet with my fellow stay at homers.  I honestly don't know what to think about it as I have never been to any conference in my life, let alone one about being a stay at home dad.  I do know a few people that will be in attendance, but I hate these environments where I am basically flying solo.  My wife is usually the more outgoing of the two of us so any big events like a wedding or a bar mitzvah, she is the one who strikes up any conversation.  I'm THAT guy who is constantly making a beeline towards the open bar.  By the end of the night I am a wasted mess and my wife is yelling at me for being a drunken fool.  Good times really.

One day I'll get my own monument 

But little Johnny is on his own and this is different.  Hopefully I can actually get something out of this, and not just a massive hangover.  There are a few speakers that I am looking forward too, there's one about cooking ( I suck at it) and one about transitioning back INTO the work force.  Let's face it, this is not a job that is going to last forever, and I am not so sure I want to completely go back to my old job.  It was great, but I have seen the future, and am not so sure that it is something that I really want to do anymore.

This weekend will be a nice break for me.  My wife has seen my demeanor change a little bit recently, I have been more apt to fly off the handle and yell more than I have ever used to.  Lets face it, everyone needs a break from their job sometimes. Since mine is a 24/7 gig, I HAVE to get out of the house.  Vacations aren't vacations, it just means my job continues somewhere else away from home.  Imagine being in your office all hours of the day, every day of the year.  You can go a little crazy. I am sure I am not alone in this.

And that is the most important thing to me this weekend.

It'll be nice being surrounded by a bunch of other people that know exactly what I am going through.  Sometimes being a stay at home dad can be the most lonely job in the world and it's conferences like this that let me know I AM NOT ALONE.  So I don't know fully what to expect, but I hope there is a bar somewhere and that I won't be the only one walking back and forth to it.

To follow along with me at the conference on Twitter you can search the hashtag #DiCinDC. It's not going to be just about what I am hearing or seeing at the conference, hopefully we'll have some surprise guests appear in that stream.  I will obviously post my normal nonsense to Facebook as well to keep you abreast of everything conference related.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

________________________________________

It Will Get Done... Maybe

Ask my wife and she will tell you that there are projects to be done all over the house.  I take that back, there are projects that are half done all over the house.  I am one of those people that gets on a roll at times and will do a million things at once.  That can be good if I ever finished anything.  There are spots that need to be painted all over our house, they're not big ones but just enough for you to notice them on a daily basis.  I guess if an entire wall needed to be painted I would do it, I mean seriously who wants to drag out all of the painting supplies for a little spot?  And then we would have to do that for about five different colors.  That's a lot of work.

I built a fire pit!

I will tackle some big projects like redoing the decking on our back porch, but it is going to take me a while as I am also going to fix a pump to the toilet in our basement, reseal the driveway, and fix the ceiling in our kitchen.  I can never just do one thing at a time, it's why nothing ever gets done, and we will always live in a house that is going to look like it was just moved into.

We've been in our current house seven years.

I have been meaning to repaint the kitchen for some time.  I am just not a fan of the color that the previous owners used.  The problem is, it's livable.  Who wants to do a project when you can certainly live with what is already there.  It really takes me a while to get going, usually it's my wife telling me that she wants something done by a certain time and amazingly enough, that little bit of pressure, gets me going.

I need to fix the ceiling and walls

Since becoming a stay at home dad, it's been difficult to prioritize.  I have always been the type of person that does a kick ass job when I am told to do something.  I was very good at my old job in TV, I never won any awards but I didn't care about those.  I just wanted to be the person that everyone knew would get the job done, and get it done well.

But now I struggle.

I am the one making my decisions for me.  I am now the boss and the employee.  There is nobody telling me to get something done and I will be honest with you it's been hard.  I have never had the mentality of telling people what to do, especially myself.  Sure I can get in the shower, something I haven't done in a couple of days mind you, and tie my own shoes, but when it comes to my actual job, I fail.

Add this to the list in the winter

I have not been living up to my own standards and have not been doing my job to the best of my abilities.  That is going to change as of today.  No more half done projects, no more half assed projects, anything that isn't done, will get done.  Of course, I have to clean the house, do the laundry, mow the lawn, clean the garage, trim the hedges, do more laundry, cook dinner, do the grocery shopping, fold the laundry, bake cookies, and research insane asylums.

I'll get to it.

Just as soon as I take a shower.

Dammit, nothing is ever going to get done around here.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

________________________________________

Wednesday's Window... My Birthday

This week's window is obviously one that is close to me, it celebrates the life of yours truly.  I dug up some old photos of myself, which is not an easy thing to do, seeing how my mother seemed to lose her camera from the time my older brother turned 4 until my younger brother was born.  Something was missing, hmmm?  It's funny looking back at these old photos, I don't remember much, except for what's in these photos.  One thing I do see is the smile that I see on MY boys faces, the innocence of a simpler time.  Oh to be young again.

I was just thinking to myself recently how I can see Tyler being seven years old, but Carter is turning four and a half tomorrow.  That just boggles my mind.  They really do grow up fast.  I am sure my mom looks at these pictures like it was just yesterday that they were taken.  If there is one thing I learned in the past year, it's that life is not slowing down.  It is so important sometimes to just stop and take it all in.  Happy Birthday little man, I think you are making your parents pretty darn proud.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

________________________________________

Chasing Numbers

I have become completely obsessed with all things blog related.  When I started I had these dreams like everyone else did of writing the next Great American blog. Now I have been pretty successful in the past nine months bringing in over 42,000 page views, 125 Facebook Likes, and over 660 Twitter followers, but therein lies the problem.  Why do I care about those numbers?

They are just numbers.

There are three things that I should care about more than anything; my wife and two kids.  Somewhere though I began to obsess about this nonsense, spending much of my day on Facebook and more recently Twitter.  I love the instantaneousness of Twitter, so much so that I would sit on my stupid phone and watch my stream more than I would my kids.  I always thought it was crazy when people tweeted that that were playing with their kids and how much fun they were having.  Why wouldn't you just enjoy the moment and not spoil it by sending off a tweet?  Well here I was doing the same damn thing.

I could shoot myself for it.

I have the two coolest little kids on the planet, sorry everyone else, and I was half paying attention to them because my mind was on my Twitter stream.  What an idiot! That looks great to the kids huh?

You should still follow me

Now don't get me wrong I have some awesome relationships that I have built online.  I have no doubt that if I actually met these people in person we would be really good friends.  The problem though is that for the most part, aside from one other blogger, I have never met anyone. They still exist solely in cyberspace.  It's the real people, the people in the flesh right in front of me, that I should be paying the most attention to. 

Only I am not.

I am making a vow to myself to focus more on what matters to me, and that's my family, somewhere along the way I lost sight of that.  By no means am I going to stop doing my blog, where would everyone get their Lego fix, but I am not going to go nuts wondering how to get more page views or unique visitors.  I am going to put down my phone when the kids are around, maybe take a day off here or there from Twitter or even have a Facebook free weekend.  Maybe instead of sending one of my friends a message, I'll actually go visit them.  Real life face to face.

Chasing numbers?

The only thing I will be chasing from now on is my kids.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

________________________________________

My Arms Have Pits

Sadly that is my problem.

If it wasn't for those stupid hairy beasts resting under my arms I would have no problems in life.  Sure my kids act up every now and then, what kids don't.  My house isn't always clean, I don't live in a museum, so why should it always be spotless.  My check engine light is always on in my car, but I think that's just a way of getting us to spend money at the dealership.  No my big problem is my armpits.

I am not going to lie to you, there are times when they smell, my wife will argue that it's all the time, but it's not.  At least I don't smell them anyway.  I use that combination antiperspirant and deodorant stuff that is all the rage in the western world, and I think that is where my problems lie.  Some sort of crazy chemical reaction is slowly destroying everything that I own.

Every shirt that I have ever worn is ruined.

Stupid armpit stains have rendered most of my shirts unwearable.  Now they are most prominent in my white shirts so I don't wear them any more, but slowly I can see them destroying EVERY shirt that I own.  I have tried to buy more black, blue and red shirts to camouflage this problem, but I can see a problem there as well.  I think the only option I have is to buy a shirt either the color of an arm pit stain or somehow try to make arm pit stains fashionable.

Sometimes I sweat

Sadly I don't think that either is an option.

I have tried everything in the book, different kinds of deodorants, different detergents, sprays, magic, you name it, I've done it.  My wife says I should completely shave my pits, as she thinks the hair is the issue.  I think the issue there is that I don't want my arm pits to itch any more than they do.  If I rub them they just might ruin my shirts even more or more quickly.

Please don't take pity on me, I am not the only one with this problem.

Even Miss Kentucky has the problem

After some research on this issue, it's amazing what you can find these days, I have come to the conclusion that I am not alone in this.  There are men, and women, everywhere that have a full wardrobe of shirts with yellowing underarms.  Don't think you haven't looked down at your own clothes as you read this, I know you have.  You have tried yourselves to figure out a way to stop this craziness and are completely stumped.

So am I.

So I need your help to try and solve this problem.  What do you do to either prevent it, or get rid of them?  I will try anything at this point just to have one shirt that remains arm pit stain free.  The only thing I won't do is start wearing tank tops.  I wouldn't want to subject you to that, that's just gross.  

You really don't want to see this

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

________________________________________

New Beginnings

Some days can just be great and crappy all rolled into one.

Such is the first day of school.  

He's a second grader

My little guy Tyler is getting to be such a big kid.  No longer does he rely on me to read and write for him. He still doesn't know how to tie shoes, but he doesn't need me to get him dressed in the mornings. Sure I help him pick his clothes out, but he is fully capable of doing most things all by himself.  This is a child that has been putting together 1000 piece lego sets since age three, the boy is a genius.

Milestones always get to me.

I've written about these things in the past - things like losing a tooth and learning how to pump yourself on the swing - while they show just how much a child is growing up, they tell me just how old I am getting.  I am not a 30 year old man anymore with a newborn son.  My 38th birthday, is right around the corner - September 28th to be exact.  After that 40, 50, 60 and next thing you know you are bouncing grandkids on your knee.  Everyone tells me that it is wonderful being a grandparent, mainly because you can give the kids back to the parents when you are done.

I don't want to give my kids back.

He's an awesome BIG kid

I want them to stay just the way they are, full of innocence with an eagerness to explore new things. I might complain about it a lot, but I want to be there to tie their shoes, pack up a lunch for them, or wipe away their tears when they fall down.  I know there will be different stages of life and the boys will always need me to be their father.  There will be different things they need my help with later in life - driving a car, tying a tie, and girls.  I don't know how much help I will be with them on the last thing though, I am still trying to figure out my wife sometimes.

The first day.  

Sometimes I feel it's just a step closer to the last.  I need to keep reminding myself I have a full life ahead of me with the boys.  If I don't stop focusing so much on the future, I am going to miss everything in the now.  There will be a lot of nows - weddings, births, holidays - and if I keep looking ahead so much, I'm going to miss all of it.   I can't wake up 50 years from now and wonder where my life went.  I need to wake up tomorrow and figure where my life is going.

New beginnings.

The first day of school will be crappy no more.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

________________________________________

Taking Back My Life

I've been yelling a lot lately, too much for my own good, and I don't like it.

STOP!
ENOUGH!
AHHHH!


Those are just three of my most spoken phrases nowadays. I am getting really annoyed at the kids, but moreso I am getting annoyed with myself and who I have become. I never thought that I would be one of those parents that yelled at their kids. I would see people at the mall or the grocery store screaming at their kids and always judge them as awful parents.

How could they scream at an innocent little angel like that?

That was before I became a stay at home dad. Now I am THAT guy at Walmart yelling at his kids to keep their hands off of everything and that they can't have a drink or a new Lego set everytime we walk into a store. I have fed into this monster in the past, and I am here today to say that I am taking my life back.

I know what you are thinking, my life is not my own now, I have two kids to think about, and that is true, but I can't go on the with way things are. In the past I would give into their every want and need, not because I wanted to spoil them, but because it was easier to say yes, than it ever was to say no. If my kids made a mess, instead of having to fight them to clean it up, it was easier to live with it and watch them destroy something else in the house. Now my house is a mess, and it's become embarrassing.

I wouldn't call the past a series of mistakes on my part, more a learning experience.

Things have snowballed recently and there are times I have become enraged to the point that I can't stand myself. I was recently filming my kids for a video that I was putting together and I noticed between their cuteness I was yelling... A lot.

There are times that I completely lose control, and while I would never hit my kids to the point of abuse I can see how parents get to that point. I scare my self sometimes.

There is a new school year that starts tomorrow and with it I am going to take the time to teach my boys and myself a few new things. There are going to be some new rules and some new responsibilities FOR ALL OF US.

This is not to say in anyway that I am going to take the fun out of my kids lives, and turn them into slaves who jump at my every command. I can't have my kids grow up spoiled rotten and expect to get things when they want it all the time. They need to start learning about stuff like consequences and earning things, all stuff that I haven't stressed enough with them in the past.

They are great kids who are for the most part well behaved, but there are things though that I don't like and I need to put a stop to it, for them and for me. It's not going to be easy. It's hard to erase the previous seven years of feeding the beast. There will be growing pains as everyone gets used to the new rules. I expect a lot of crying in the coming weeks and months, maybe even years ahead, most of it will probably be from me.

If I don't put a stop to it now, I don't know if I ever will. For the sake of all of us, things will get better.

I was never THAT guy but I can slowly see him creeping up on me in the mirror. I don't want to be THAT guy.

I am taking my life back, and it all starts right now.

I am a shadow of the dad I used to be

I will be sharing updates on the progress of my Take Back my Life Project every Tuesday. I am sure their will be setbacks along the way but in the long run, everyone will be better for it. Wish me luck!

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

________________________________________

Why Ask Me?

I get asked a lot of questions.  

"Can my parents (in-laws)* join us for dinner?"

"Can I eat this entire box of candy?"

"Can I jump off the roof of the house?"

Chances are I am going to answer all these questions with a "NO!"  Although I will seriously consider the last one, what harm could come about in jumping off the roof of the house.  Even though I say no, I don't think that my response EVER registers with my family. When was the last time that my wife's parents* weren't allowed to come to dinner because I said no? I would have to say never.  Does my son ever NOT eat the entire box of candy?  Uh uh.  If my other son wanted to jump off the house do you think that me saying no is really going to stop him?  HELL NO.

Why do I even get asked these questions?

It seems they are more of warning shots than questions.  It's as if my wife knows full well my in-laws* are coming to dinner but instead of just saying that they are coming, she throws it out there as a question.  My kids do the same thing all the time.

"Can we play the Wii?" NO.   Where do you think they end up?

It leaves me wondering if I ever mean what I say.  Am I such a pushover that nobody thinks I am serious when I say no?  Or do I just say no way too much?  If you have kids it's easily in the top five of words and phrases used:

• No
• Eat your food
• No
• Lift the toilet seat when you pee
• No

Ok, so I do use it a lot.  But sometimes I mean it.  I only say it because I don't want anyone to get a belly ache, I don't want anyone to get hurt, and I don't want to eat with my in-laws* again.

I guess what it boils down to is this, I get asked a lot of different questions, I just don't have a lot of different answers.

*My in-laws are GREAT people.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

________________________________________

Farewell Blogger Idol

Wait.

Did something just happen?

You are telling me that I am not going to be 2011's Blogger Idol?

Man I always had visions in my head that I would be singing "A Moment Like This" as confetti rained down on me after I was announced as the winner.  I never enter into anything that I don't think I can win, it's partially why I will never enter a marathon.  I mean I could run my ass of and still lose by a mile or 24 for that matter.  I was undefeated as a cub scout in the Pinewood Derby until my last race.  For three years my little 5 ounce car was faster than everyone else, but I will be haunted by my last race.  My car flew off the track and I lost.  I was devastated to say the least.  I want to remember the wins but what sticks with me is the LOSS.  Stupid Pinewood Derby.

Anyway this is different, what I will remember most about this loss is the fine group of people I was associated with.  These guys are some talented writers, and while I never thought of myself as such, it was GREAT to be included.  I was able to discover blogs that I never would have otherwise, and have developed relationships with people I have never actually met.  That's pretty cool.

From the get go I thought that the cards were stacked against me.  I never thought that I would actually make it into this competition, but as the weeks went by Daddy's in Charge turned into a locomotive that was picking up steam.  Positive feedback, votes for me, banners hanging up at supermarkets, and front page stories in the local newspaper… everything was rolling along.  Then all of a sudden, my train derailed, and my dream of being Blogger Idol was ruined. 

I think what finally did me in was my lack of wanting to talk about myself.  I like to write about OTHER people, mainly my kids.  I am sure that I am not alone in this thinking.  It's just not easy to write about yourself all the time.  I will say this though, I have learned something about myself in this competition, maybe I CAN write.  It's not something I would ever think I can do for a living, but I got some talent there.  Some people are so good at it though they could probably rewrite the phonebook and make it sound interesting.  I won't go that far with myself, but I could probably write some sort of manual about how to win the Pinewood Derby.

Just stay on the track. 

That's what I will do, stay on the track.  I'll keep blogging trying to entertain as many people as I can.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

________________________________________

Moments in Time

I am as much a writer as I am a golfer or landscaper. I mean I like to golf and I am pretty good at it but I would never consider myself a GOLFER. I mow my lawn once a week and it looks no different then the neatly manicured lawns in my neighborhood, but a landscaper, far from it. That's why I struggle with the term WRITER. Isn't everyone at some point a writer? My son makes up these nonsensical stories at school about how the world should just be turned into a planet based solely on Star Wars characters, I guess that would make him a writer in the loosest sense of the term.

I have a hard time when I am forced to write on a certain topic as most of what I say seems forced, or not truly in a voice that represents who I am. What I like to write about, and always have, is moments in time. Maybe it's the journalist in me coming through, but I don't want to force something that isn't there. I spent years behind a camera capturing moments and turning them into stories based on what I saw. You are taught in television not to stage anything, if you missed it, so be it. You have to figure out another way to tell the story. When given a topic to write about, I feel almost as if I am staging something, and I don't feel good about it.

Most of what I write about today is based on the images I capture. Whether it's a particularly moving photo that I took or even just a snapshot stored in the back of my head, everything has a story. Take for instance my nephew Dylan, we were at an amusement park not too long ago, and he was getting so upset that he might not be able get on a certain roller coaster, you could tell he just was not going to enjoy the day without at least giving it a try. We snuck on the back as we always do, I mean really who wants to wait on lines when half the thrill of the ride is the thought you might get caught cutting in front of everybody. As we headed up the first hill, the anticipation from this boy was bubbling over. Once at the top, he was ready to explode. The sheer enjoyment from him could not be expressed in a bunch of words written down on a piece of paper, this was a moment in time that could only be captured through the lens of my camera. Sometimes you have to realize that an image tells the story better than words ever could.

Other times the image can be the basis for the story. I wrote a story once about how I almost lost my son on a family vacation. This was the last photo we took of him before the unimaginable happened. We were on a Disney Cruise three hours out to sea and my child turned blue and began convulsing. As a parent I feared the worst, my son was dying right before my eyes. I really had no idea what to think at the time other than here we are out at sea, on our way to the Bahamas and my lifeless child was sitting there right in front me, and there was nothing that I could do. To make a long story short, he had something called a febrile seizure, which it turns out is pretty benign, but when you haven't seen something like this is person, it can be the scariest thing imaginable.

Here I was, four years later looking through photos on my computer and up popped this image. A flood of emotions ran through me and I was transported back in time to the day it happened. November 16th, 2006, what could have been the worst day in my life was staring me in the face. Something I wanted to forget was now burning holes in my eyes. I had to get this story written and the only thing I had to go with was this picture. One image, one moment in time is all it took.

Me? A writer?

Maybe not.

Someone who captures moments?

That's more like it.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

________________________________________

Blogger Idol 2011... Week Three

So I have moved on to week four in Blogger Idol!  This weeks double elimination spared me the axe.  It was closer than I would have liked, but it just proves that every vote counts, so please continue to vote each week until I am gone, which hopefully won't be until the Finale.

This week we were asked to team up with another finalist and write a joint piece, an interview of sorts.  I was fortunate to team up with Mama Mash, another stay at home parent from Kansas City, you can read about her here.  She has quite a story and is a very clever writer.  The judges were pleased with the direction that we took, but they seemed less than thrilled about the lack of research it seemed we did on each other.  I actually read every single post she made, so the research was there.  As far as doing an interview based on your blog, thats boring.  If you wanted to find out about the blog, you could just read it.  The idea is to get a better understanding of the person, not the blog, something I believe that we did.

______________________

John and Julie do the same job (stay-at-home parents), have the same hobby (blogging), hell, they even studied the same thing in college (journalism). This makes them both curious writers who are used to captaining the ship. Take a peek as the authors of Daddy’s in Charge? and Mamamash try to get a glimpse into what it’s like when the other parent is running the show.

Who does what?

Julie: What have you and your wife agreed upon as your job description?

John: My wife Jenn and I just had this conversation last week, and it really has become an issue in our house. There are times when all of it just gets too overwhelming and things spiral out of control. My house is a mess, my refrigerator is bare, and my kids don't have matching socks. I like to think that as long as the kids are alive, I have been doing my job. 

As far as my wife is concerned it needs to be much more than that though, I need to take a more active role in their development and wellbeing. I have my normal duties like cooking, cleaning, and laundry like any stay at home parent, although I still struggle with my wife's laundry from time to time. There are just too many different settings to worry about. Mine all goes in one load, one temperature. Hers, I actually have to read the label. It sucks.  

Julie: I think Maslow’s hierarchy of needs comes into play here. If my refrigerator were empty, my husband wouldn’t care if the house were a mess or if the laundry weren’t done. He’d follow me around whimpering “Food. Food. Fooooood.” 

John: So what’s the grocery-shopping strategy. Coupons? 

Julie: My husband absolutely abhors shopping unless it involves electronics or liquor, so I do the majority of our food shopping. I've never shopped with coupons until this year when I decided it would be fun to try this new "extreme couponing" thing. Hubs was tolerant of my new hobby until he went looking for a wrench and was surprised by a year's supply of Playtex Sport nestled among his tools. 

To be honest, I didn't really enjoy all the work it required, although I now have enough toothpaste to survive a shortage in the event of the zombie apocalypse. Now that things are back to a much more normal scale, I poke around in the fridge to see what we need, quiz the man of the house as to his current menu requests, make a list that I then forget on the table, and enjoy a couple of hours to myself at the market.

Cooking, Cleaning, Keeping calm

Julie:  Honey I'm home.  What's for dinner?

John: This is tough because my wife comes home late many nights, so having something fancy just isn't going to happen. I know that the boys would not appreciate the hard work that goes into cooking a meal, and actually getting the time to cook it is another issue. 

There will be nights though when I know that she is coming home for dinner, and I will make something more than just Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. When the weather is nice, it usually means something on the grill like a steak or chicken and probably some grilled vegetables. Anything involving a grill, I am a man after all! 

Julie: So then, what's for breakfast? And I gotta ask, where are the dishes 45 minutes later?

John: I wish every meal were breakfast. It's the only meal that I let the kids pick out and it's always the easiest. I would like to say that it is totally balanced with fruits and yogurt but its usually cereal or waffles or eggs. My kids are never really big eaters so when they are done, the dishes get put right in the dishwasher. I like to have a clean kitchen table. If nothing else in my house is clean at least the table is. As for when the dishes are clean and need to be put away, well you can come over and do that for me. 

Julie: That’s the first thing I do in the morning while the baby is eating. Might as well get the drudgery over with quickly. 

John: I will tell you that I have a cleaning crew that comes once a week, and while that might sound like I am cheating when it comes to cleaning, I also take care of the lawn mowing and all other outdoor projects so I can be quite busy. 

Julie: I don’t know if I could handle having someone else cleaning my house. My husband says there’s “man clean” and then there’s “Julie clean,” and he’s right, I’m picky about it’s done. 

John: Well, then who mows your lawn?

Julie: I was a single girl and a homeowner for years before I met my husband, and I mowed that damn acre religiously until I could afford to pay the neighbor to do it. It is exclusively now hubs' job, one of his chores for which I do not have to trade sexual favors. It's actually funny to see the peer pressure among the neighborhood men at work here. If one guy gets up early on Saturday and mows, the rest of them are out there with a quickness. Life in the suburbs, man. 

John: There’s no pressure where I live because everyone else has a landscaper. I choose to do it myself and it shows. If you drive into my development and see a yard that's all brown and has weeds growing out of the bushes, chances are you stumbled on my property. I have a lawnmower, I might as well use it, unlike all the lazy men in my neighborhood. I will tell you there is pressure among the ladies though. Every time I drop my kid off at a play date at one of their friends’ houses, everything is so neat and tidy, I just don't understand how they do it. 

Julie: Alright then, you just stepped on an action figure, so it's time to clean. What's your strategy? 

John: There is a strategy? I guess if I didn't just pick it up and throw it in the garbage I would toss it across the room into the big pile of action figures we have in our living room. Did I mention to you that I have Legos scattered all over my house? They pretty much cover every square inch of flooring. At last count I think we had 7,673 Lego mini-figures in our house. That’s more that the population of the town that I grew up in! It's hard not to walk on Lego Clone Trooper, or get stabbed by Lego knife in my house. My boys would play with Legos 365 days a year if they could. Sometimes we have to go on vacation, you know, just to get away from the Legos. You have a boy, see what you are in store for? 

Julie: I totally prefer action figures and Legos to princess stuff and glitter everywhere. Boys are easier, I think. Well, at first. Until they become mobile, though. Then it’s like a race to see which bone we can break first. 

John: Do you find yourself hovering with every step? At the playground, stuff like that. 

Julie: I always thought I would be a helicopter-ish mom, but I've been pleasantly surprised by myself. I do keep a watchful eye on him at all times while he cruises around the room terrorizing anything with a tail or a cord, but if he gets himself in a bind I'll hang back a bit and give him a chance to figure it out before I rescue him. I'd like to be a parent who balances well between avoiding x-rays and not raising a gigantic wuss. 

John: What about when he seems sick or does hurt himself? 

Julie: We're just approaching the end of the first year with our son, and he's only been sick twice. All hail the power of boob juice. But anytime he starts to look or act a little off, I break out the rectal thermometer, or as hubs calls it, The Violator, and check for a fever. No fever? Here, have some gripe water. When he had a cold, I knew not to bother bringing him in to the doctor because they'd just happily pocket my co-pay and tell me, "Fluids, mwahmwahmwah, humidifier." 

We took turns staying up through the night with him. It was lots of not fun. He hurt himself for the first time today, gashed his eyebrow after faceplanting into our subwoofer. Gave me that terrifying open-mouth silent scream. I might have gotten a little panicky, but in my defense, it was first thing in the morning when logic hasn't had time to settle into its cubicle for the day. He was fine once he saw the Cheerios box.  

Routine, Routine, Routine

Julie: It's naptime, what are you doing?

John:  If it's naptime, I am usually asleep while the boys play all around me. Two kids can be quite tiring sometimes. As for them, they are beyond naptime, although my youngest could use one from time to time, he can be a nightmare to deal with, without enough sleep. Tonight he went to bed at 10:00, so I am screwed in the morning. 

Julie: My son has been refusing single-digit bedtimes as well lately. 

John: What’s your process for putting him to bed? 

Julie: I'm a pretty strict mom about bedtime, because I believe it keeps the drama to a minimum, and no one wants to see me throw a temper tantrum. From the first day we took him home, it's been bath, bottle, buddy, bed. 

He began sleeping through the night at six weeks, so I felt pretty smug until this last month, when he decided that he'd set his own bedtime, and it wasn't going to be a single-digit hour. We've reached a compromise, I believe, but I have a suspicion that he's still negotiating terms in his head. So now it's dinner, bath, playtime, snuggles and bed. He goes to bed by himself, in his crib, lulled to sleep by the soothing strains of the Glee soundtrack. Do you have any idea how annoying this music is? If I have to listen to Proud Mary as sung by the Geek Squad one more time...I will shut my effing mouth and endure it, because it will make my kid sleep. 

John: We tried those stupid books on CD and they worked great for about a month, I used to get bored to tears by the Three Little Pigs. If I had to hear that one more time I would huff and puff and blow someone's head off. It can be a little difficult at times being a stay at home dad, there are just things that women do better than men. 

I put a question mark on the title of my blog for a reason. I ask myself everyday "Daddy's in Charge?" then I come to the conclusion that no I am not, there are two boys here that have way more power than I do. I need someone to periodically tell these boys who is boss, someone like Mamamash. Why? Because she's the mama...and she said so. 

Julie: Thanks for that. I think men and women parent differently for a reason – it creates a healthy balance. And you’re right, it doesn’t matter if Daddy’s in Charge or if I’m the mama and I said so, because the kids hold just as many cards as we do, even though we like to pretend they don’t. You can find John and Julie at www.daddysincharge.com and www.mamamash.com.

Judges Comments:

"I liked the conversational tone, and how even though one of you would ask the question, often you would both answer it in your discussion back and forth.

What I didn't get a feel for though, is whether or not you did any "research" on each other before you conducted the interview. Your blogs weren't mentioned at all, but then again you are very similar to each other in some ways and so it could be assumed that you were more curious about each other's typical day than you were about each other's blog. You didn't really have to explain your job to each other, because you both do the same thing (if that makes any sense at all).

All in all, I think it was well thought out and well written. Nice work!"

Amy, from Non-Stop Mom 

"I really liked this. You guys picked a great way to go about it, with the whole 'he does, she does' thing. I can honestly say I don't ever think I would have thought of that. It was very clever, and I liked that you guys had an overall topic and then discussed things within that topic. It made it seem very put together and organized, and very natural. "

Heather, from My Husband Ate All My Ice Cream 

"I liked that this had a conversational flow and that you broke it down into categories. I also like how, in one way or another, you each answered the questions. I think that the questions gave a great insight into each others lives/routines and, in turn, gave us a good perspective of what it's like to parent from the other side.

I think it flowed well, was put together nicely, and seemed very natural."

Kim, from Mamas Monologues 

"I really like this one. The discussion style was easy to read and the topics flowed easily, and it was interesting to see how a stay at home dad deals with things different from a stay at home mom. I can also so glimpses of your blog styles and personality, which is great.

Having a theme (stay at home parents in this case) really helps tighten things up, and you guys did a great job."

Alison, from Mama Wants This! 

"I also liked the conversational tone and you do get to know each other better. I have to agree with Non-Stop Mom when she says that you do not get the picture that you did a lot of background research, but the interviews works. I loved the part about extreme coupon shopping for a zombie apocalypse - nice! Nice blend of both humor and seriousness. Good job!"

Chris, from Dad of Divas

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

________________________________________

High School Reunion

Geneseo Central Class of 1991 Now

I haven't seen most these people since the moment they were awarded their diplomas, which is strange to think about because I went to school with a lot of them since Kindergarten.  But after graduation people went their separate ways and without things like Facebook or even email it was hard at the time for you to keep in contact with anyone.  I have been fortunate over the past few years to reconnect with a lot of them over the internet.  I actually joked that I knew a lot of them more now than when I was in high school.  You show up at an event like this having not seen a person or spoken to them in 20 years, but you know who their spouses are and if they have kids or not.  It really was kind of strange that way.  

Eric W., me, and Ryan M.

I didn't know what to expect walking in. Would people even remember who I was? Now I wasn't Mr. Popular, but I wasn't a total loser either.  I was stuck somewhere in the middle. I did play football, basketball, and baseball, but we weren't the type of school where if you were the captain of the football team you were the Big Man on Campus, I mean I am only five feet eight inches tall, hardly someone that could run with that title.  And besides you can't really call our school a campus, we had 75 kids in the entire graduating class.

I didn't go to parties until very late my senior year.  I was more content playing sports and doing my own thing.  It would have been nice to go and hang with some of the "cool" crowd, but it didn't bother me that much.  I was probably known for being a sarcastic jerk at times, something I still am to this day.  I need to shake that label, I mean sarcastic, really?  Me?

Jason J., Tracy A., me, Kelly H., Eric W.

I was worried too that I would totally blank on who a lot of these people were.  But even after 20 years you see someone for the first time and it's like you have been talking to them all your life.  All of a sudden visions of high school start rushing into your brain.  Things that you haven't thought of in years are now in the forefront of your mind.  There were guys that I played sports with, others that I worked with on the school newspaper, and it's as if we're living that life again.  It's like that with my college buddies, we head back to Syracuse and all of a sudden we are a bunch of 20 year olds, only we wake up the morning after partying, as 20 year olds in the body of a close to 40 year old, it can be rough.

Me, George D., Jason J. Jackie S.

Hearing stories of what these people have been doing the past 20 years can be kind of weird.  People that you don't ever remember talking to in high school are all of a sudden discussing their life stories.  I wish I was able to hear everyone's tales of the past two decades, but trying to fit it all in over the course of two days can be a little difficult.  You want to talk to people longer but that would be at the expense of someone else.  It makes me wish that the reunion was like a week long.  Of course by then though we probably would have been sick of each other.

Ryan M., Virginia S., Kristen Z., Kelly H.

It was great to see the success of some of these people.  A lot of them have gone on to get advanced degrees, mostly everyone seems to be happy with what they do, and those that were married have awesome spouses, including my own.  The other thing that I noticed is that we all produced some pretty good looking kids. There is definitely something in the Conesus Lake drinking water.

Some people have some crazy stories to tell, whether or not we choose to believe them is another story.  I for one have no reason to think why someone would make up a story, so George I know you have your doubters, but I want to believe that one.  It's just too good of a story not to.  

Kate B., Kelly H., Paul C.

Not everyone was able to show up for this event but it really was nice to see those who were there.  Some people that you just assumed dropped off the face of the Earth actually still lived in town.  We all looked a little different, some like myself have gained a little weight, there are a few more wrinkles, some gray hair, a couple of people actually have grandkids.  But in the end it didn't matter what we all looked like or what we did for a living, for the most part we were just happy to see each other and we had a great time.  Sure some people tended to talk with others more often and some of the same groups that formed back in High School were forming once again, that's just to be expected, but not something that got in the way of a great weekend.  Some were not happy to see their tormentors, but hey it's 20 years, we were all young and stupid.  I certainly wasn't going to let someone I hated back then destroy a weekend that I was looking forward to.  I know I have grown up a lot in the past 20 years and I am sure everyone else has too.  Looking back, there are probably some things that everyone regrets doing, but like I said 20 years is a long time to let things bother you.

Tony J., Paul C., Matt D., Eric W.

We'll probably have another reunion sometime in the future, some people were even talking about a 21st which I know won't happen, and not everyone who showed for this one will be able to attend. While it sucks to say this, I am sure I might not see some of these people ever again, but maybe others that didn't show up this time will decide to go.  It would have been great to see EVERYONE from the class but I know that sometimes life gets in the way of making that happen.  I for one would like to see everyone a little more often but if it ends up being five years from now, I'll take it.  The fact that so many people DID come back to town to attend this reunion was just awesome.  There are not that many people that can say they were in the Geneseo Central Class of 1991.  I for one am glad to have been a part of it.

Geneseo Central Class of 1991 Then

Special thanks to those that were responsible for making these festivities happen.  I know the hard work you all put in to make it possible.  I offer Johnna, Jason, Eric, and Tracy a most heartfelt thank you for everything.  To those we lost; Bob Berry and David Boutell you will be missed.

Please take a moment to support me in my bid to become Blogger Idol 2011.  Click here and scroll down to where the voting box is.  This week I (John Willey) am paired with Mama Mash so make sure that the vote is for the two of us.  Thanks so much!  Voting ends Thursday at midnight.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

________________________________________

Blogger Idol 2011... Unnatural Woman

So thanks to your help I am on to week THREE of Blogger Idol 2011.  The assignment was a tough one that stretched my imagination, "If you could be the opposite sex for a day."  Fortunately the judges were kind to me.  Without further ado here was my entry for week two.

____________________

There are certain things in life that men should experience--being a woman for a day is one of them.  How better to understand their world than to step into one of their many shoes.  The obvious way to spend the day is to stay at home and pleasure myself.  I have heard that there are men who will sit for hours in front of a computer watching women do this very act.  What they are doing themselves I don't know, but if it's good enough for these guys to watch, then it must be even better to participate in.  But I am not going to do that, I have a list of things to do, I just hope I don't waste too much time sobbing and talking about my feelings to get it all done.

• Since I decided that I am not going to stay home and take care of business myself, I still need to know what it feels like to be a woman.   There are a few obvious choices like Ryan Reynolds or Brad Pitt, but there is only one stallion I'm hopping on,  FABIO.  I have to see for myself what all this fuss was about (20 years ago).  Any man that can sell butter taste is my kind of man.
• Now that those two minutes are over I need to go on with some shopping.  The first thing that I need is some cellulite cream.  All the ladies seem to be using something that makes their asses red, tingly, and hot, but my ass looks like an orange rind so I am not sure which one to get. Maybe I can just rub one of these miracle creams all over my body so I can transform back to the woman I was 15 years ago?

• I need a bra.  Not just any bra, I need a bra that is going to give me the boobs of an 18 year old.  37 years and gravity have taken their toll on these saggy lumps.  It's time to jack these suckers up, to trick everyone into thinking I have had some work done.
• I need a bag.  This is a tricky one because it can't simply hold my wallet and car keys, it has to be an overpriced accessory, able to hold something the size of a small child.  While I am at it, I might as well buy another one just in case I am able to go for a night on the town.  That one has to be the smallest bag imaginable, with only enough room to carry lipgloss.
• Time for shoe shopping!  How many do I need?  I need black, brown, tan, high heels, flats, boots, so doing the math I need exactly... (carry the one) 137 pairs.  One for every occasion that I might come across.  Make it 138 just in case one of my heels breaks.

• I need a manicure and pedicure.  I have been a guy for way too long, and much to my wife's chagrin, not one of those so called metrosexual guys that would get something like this done.  I am headed to the beach later so there is no better time than the present.  The beach won't ruin any work that I got done.  If it does, I will just go back and get another one tomorrow because I like getting my feet tickled.
• I am curious about this thing called a Brazilian, I was thinking I might get it done.  But as I chat with the other ladies over soy chai lattes, the thought of being spread eagle while someone plucks hair I didn't know I had from my nether regions, just doesn't sound appealing enough to make myself look like a prepubescent teen.  

• With all the shopping out of the way, I have to go to "ladies night."  There is nothing more flattering than being hit on by middle-aged dudes who think they still got it (especially when they tuck their sweatshirts into their hemmed jeans and dance around in their Wal-Mart issued cowboy boots). I will tease them into thinking that they have a chance, so they will spend their hard earned money buying Apple Martinis for me and my friends.  If I did end up going home with one of these studs, it's only because Fabio didn't seal the deal.
• While it may be "life changing" to experience childbirth, I am certainly not jumping into the body of a pregnant woman late in her third trimester, when I have all this hooking up and shopping to do.  I just trust that there is no feeling like it and that pushing a bowling ball through an opening the size of a straw is something that a man should not experience.  I by the way would not wish you getting hit in the nuts by a tennis ball from five feet away. That's not to say that it is similar, just saying.

Some things I will not touch

Whether or not I can fit this all in my day depends on how many times I start sobbing uncontrollably.  I would like to think I could control my emotions, but with all of these newfound hormones, I don't know if this is possible.  It's probably best that I do just stay home home, set up a webcam, and pleasure myself while some guy in Kansas get his jollies.  That way I can go on Facebook and Twitter to complain about how much I hate my kids and how much they drive me to drink, as if I am the only woman with these problems.  Oh wait, I already do that as a man.  I guess I am more like a woman than I thought.

______________________________

Judges Comments:

"funny stuff! thats quite a tall order to get done in one day! simple, easy to follow, & funny. good post! "

Erica, from Good Job Momma

"I like how you set up the play-by-play of your day and really let us in on your womanly decision making, weighing out the pros and cons of things such as staying home and pleasuring yourself all day vs. shopping and mani/pedi's. Good comedic writing with a touch of sentiment here and there. "

Random Girl, from Random Girl Blog

"I really enjoyed this post. I laughed mostly all the way through it shaking my head affirmatively. Well done! "

T. Rojas, from Motherhood: The Definition of Insanity

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

________________________________________