September 23, 2011

My Arms Have Pits

Sadly that is my problem.

If it wasn't for those stupid hairy beasts resting under my arms I would have no problems in life.  Sure my kids act up every now and then, what kids don't.  My house isn't always clean, I don't live in a museum, so why should it always be spotless.  My check engine light is always on in my car, but I think that's just a way of getting us to spend money at the dealership.  No my big problem is my armpits.

I am not going to lie to you, there are times when they smell, my wife will argue that it's all the time, but it's not.  At least I don't smell them anyway.  I use that combination antiperspirant and deodorant stuff that is all the rage in the western world, and I think that is where my problems lie.  Some sort of crazy chemical reaction is slowly destroying everything that I own.

Every shirt that I have ever worn is ruined.

Stupid armpit stains have rendered most of my shirts unwearable.  Now they are most prominent in my white shirts so I don't wear them any more, but slowly I can see them destroying EVERY shirt that I own.  I have tried to buy more black, blue and red shirts to camouflage this problem, but I can see a problem there as well.  I think the only option I have is to buy a shirt either the color of an arm pit stain or somehow try to make arm pit stains fashionable.
Sometimes I sweat

Sadly I don't think that either is an option.

I have tried everything in the book, different kinds of deodorants, different detergents, sprays, magic, you name it, I've done it.  My wife says I should completely shave my pits, as she thinks the hair is the issue.  I think the issue there is that I don't want my arm pits to itch any more than they do.  If I rub them they just might ruin my shirts even more or more quickly.

Please don't take pity on me, I am not the only one with this problem.

Even Miss Kentucky has the problem
After some research on this issue, it's amazing what you can find these days, I have come to the conclusion that I am not alone in this.  There are men, and women, everywhere that have a full wardrobe of shirts with yellowing underarms.  Don't think you haven't looked down at your own clothes as you read this, I know you have.  You have tried yourselves to figure out a way to stop this craziness and are completely stumped.

So am I.

So I need your help to try and solve this problem.  What do you do to either prevent it, or get rid of them?  I will try anything at this point just to have one shirt that remains arm pit stain free.  The only thing I won't do is start wearing tank tops.  I wouldn't want to subject you to that, that's just gross.  

You really don't want to see this

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?



  1. You need a "catcher shirt" under your regular shirt or botox to stop the sweating! :)

  2. I buy hubs white undershirts in bulk. I have to replace them about twice a year. Saves the nice shirts though.

  3. This all seems so scientific buying undershirts. Looks like I am going to have to suck it up and go shopping.

  4. You mean, you're not wearing undershirts? That is a must. You can even bring a couple extra with you to work in case you need to change. Thanks for the laugh though!

  5. Well I am a stay at home dad, so I guess I could Have a couple if extra shirts laying around.

  6. Either stop wearing shirts or wear the saver shirts... the ones under the real shirts that save the sweat. You can do it!

  7. OMG DiC i have the exact same problem mate, and have been trying to figure out along with my fiancée Marie how to combat this too. It is normally not so bad if i wear white t-shirts or something but any other colour and literally 5 minutes after putting it on i need to go and change.

    What is even worse now is that all my tops are getting a very odd smell about them, even if i change them directly after i notice that i have sweat stains, and even though my partner washes all my cloths they still have a very strange smell around them.

    Please if you find the solution let me know, i am putting it down to my weight in all honesty since before i moved to sweden i was quite a skinny person, but now i have gained alot of weight, i wouldn't say i was fat but i ain't thin either.