February 13, 2013

A Valentine's Day Apology

I need to apologize in advance of Valentine's Day.

When your kid comes home from school tomorrow and sees that someone in their class ONLY got your kid a card, that was from my son.  I am so sorry that your child did not get a pencil or a bag of plastic crap disguised as toys.  It's nothing against your child, it's just I guess I am a horrible parent.  I know that you took the time to personalize each card and attached that cute little stuffed bear with the cupid wings to it.  That's not me.  It's very thoughtful of you though, but I am not going to compete with you over this sort of thing.  If I did, I assume next year whatever you get my child on Valentine's Day would be even better than this year; perhaps an Xbox or something.

Really looking forward to these
Even though the school said no candy, I really appreciate the fine assortment of ring pops that you got my son.  Oh, and the three dollar Subway gift card will really come in handy.  Don't get me wrong the cute little pink unicorn that you got last year was great until it got thrown in the garbage as soon as my son got home.  The coloring books are really handy in this digital age too.  Maybe on your kids half birthday you can get my son an iPod or something.

All this extra gift giving is really making me question myself as a parent.  Should I be putting more thought into days like Valentine's Day than I do?  Do my kids hate me because while they are getting balsa wood airplanes and a sheet of stickers, they look like fools only handing out the $1.99 Phineas and Ferb cards?  And what do all the other parents think of me?  I must look like a complete moron not buying up all the temporary Scooby Doo tattoos.

So I want to personally apologize to all to go getters out there that are making their kids look like awesome on Valentine's Day.  I would like to say that I will make it up to you come St. Patrick's Day or Easter, but chances are I won't. It's not that I don't like your kid, I just don't like all the junk that they get mine.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?



  1. AMEN!!! I'm so there with you on this one. It seems like every school holiday is expected to be celebrated with gifts and such now. Too much pressure- ain't nobody got time for that!

  2. A card is more than enough.

  3. Oh buddy, don't get me started on those cheap-ass themed pencils. I loathe those useless pieces of ill-formed wood-processing waste covered in glitter and Disney princesses. Arghhhh!!
    We, too, signed cards and stuck them in envelopes and decorated the envelopes with, get this, crayons and markers. Our styles and sensibilities are similar, I'd guess. I hope we're doing it right... you know we are.

  4. I guess I suck too because my kids just send cards and a sticker.. We adhere to the no candy policy though most parents don't.. With fundraiser and parties I don't see the point in more junk

  5. I have about a billion pencils. I should be good until the kids graduate college.

  6. I just don't see why there is this urge to send anything else?

  7. I love the store cards. :) But to confess... we do elaborate valentines. And by "we" I mean "I". I do them on the computer, take all of the personal stuff out of it. Sure, the kids got a bag of chips that says "valentine, I think you're all that and a bag of chips. From Youngest" but the sheer thought of having to sit there at the kitchen table and listen to them whine about how they have to fill them all out AND do their homework is totally worth it.

  8. My kid's school is doing their "party" tomorrow. They pretty much HAVE to bring in candy, or not participate. My mind? It's blown.

  9. Awesome... load them up on candy then ship them home.