My Boys Will be Boob Men

Every now and then I get sucked into these online arguments over a woman's right to breastfeed in public.  It really amazes me that in this day and age this sort of thing is an issue.  I just don't understand how people could be so closed minded about this, it's a woman feeding her child, that's it.  If it is seen as anything else, that's YOUR problem.

My friend Scott down in Georgia has been championing women's rights for some time.  I first came in contact with him when the whole Forest Park, Georgia breastfeeding ban was being proposed.  He was adamant that day and he has not let up since on his stance that women should be allowed to breastfeed their children pretty much anywhere that they need to.

Well it hasn't stopped since, it seems not a day goes by that I don't see a tweet from him slamming someone that has said something stupid about a woman breastfeeding.  I'll give you an example of the idiocy that goes on in this world; these are actual tweets from real people:

Yeah really!

It seems that her child was hungry, how dare he want to eat something.  If you were to follow this particular idiots twitter stream she went on to say that public bathrooms are there for a reason, and that the mom should use it to feed her child.

My response?

I think that if this moron is so offended, she should get up and go eat her popcorn in the comfort of the theater's bathroom.  I mean how stupid could she be?  Why on Earth should ANYONE be forced to sit on a toilet and feed their child.  I will say it again, that mother is feeding her child, just like anyone else that feeds their children chicken nuggets or pizza.  If you have such a problem with it, MOVE.  I am sure that mother would be more than happy to not have your stupid ass sitting next to her anyway.

Now it doesn't stop with movie theaters, you can find people everywhere that have an issue with breastfeeding.  I am sure in this case the mother didn't want to be feeding her child in church but when they're hungry they're hungry.  It's not unlike my boys who constantly ask for snacks and won't stop begging me until I give in.  I would ask this person if they would have an issue with me offering my child a cheese stick in church. There really is no difference.  I am satisfying my child's need to feed.  How dare I do such a thing? Another issue I have with this is, what the hell are you doing tweeting in church?  Shut your phone off and get to the business at hand.  I am sure there are more people upset with you interrupting Gods work by tweeting on your phone, than are upset about the bond between a mother and child.

Seriously people, GROW UP!

Shocking that a mother would feed her kids at the Grocery Store, I know.  After all that is where you buy food and all.  I would ask this semi famous NASCAR driver if it was OK for a mom to pull a candy bar off the shelf and give it to their child, it's no different, except that feeding the child breast milk is WAY more nutritious.  What I can't believe is that he would buy himself a six pack of Budweiser?  Has he no shame? I just lost my appetite.

Why do moms do it?  Why don't they just let their kids starve?  Why won't a mother just let her kid scream uncontrollably when she knows that her child is hungry?  It makes no sense to me.  How dare THAT mom want to offer her child the food that they need?  I would ask Justin if has ever eaten a sandwich or chomped on a granola bar in the park. It's no different.  Except that I am sure that he would look like  the pig that he is doing it.

What is this world coming too that people would question a mother's right to feed her child?  The fact that there are so many stupid people out there that can't handle this nonissue just baffles me. I will say it again, if you have a problem with what you see , that's YOUR problem. If you see it as anything other than lunch or dinner, you have to get your head examined.

I am sure that most breastfeeding mothers are as discreet as possible when they feed their children, I know my wife was.  Do you really think that mothers want to walk around with their boobs hanging out all over the place?  I would have to think that they don't.  It can't be comfortable for them knowing that there are such stupid people in this world that would question what they are doing.  I would say instead of being disgusted by what a breastfeeding mother is doing, tell her how awesome she is for feeding her child. 

My boys will grow up in a world where women feed their babies however they want to. If that means a bottle in the comfort of their living room or a breast on a crowded subway, it shouldn't matter.  

I want my boys to be boob men, just like their old man*

*I also like nice eyes too 

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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#DadFit

You may have noticed a little badge on the right side of this webpage.  #DadFit is is a new blog that I am involved in where our main purpose is to keep dads in shape.  I should say that it doesn't have to keep just dads in shape, anyone can join us as long as you are willing to make the commitment to your overall health.  This is not supposed to be just a fad diet or a fly by night sort of experiment, it's about a lifestyle change, a change a bunch of us dads feel is necessary to improve our lives.

All of us have gained a little weight over the years, including myself who has put on about 40 pounds in the past ten years alone.  I realize that I am not alone in this as it seems that every man my age has put on some weight.  I look at my friends and most of them are carrying around that extra spare tire that with a little work and change in habit can easily be taken off.  

We are in this together.  

I realized that it's easy to take the weight off, it's a matter of what to do when you reach your goals.  In the past I have been able to lose 20 pounds without much of a problem, but like anyone that that goes on a diet, I put it right back on.  I wasn't willing to make the commitment to change my lifestyle, something I know is necessary this time around.

I've got two kids and I don't want to be the dad that's stuck on the sideline with bad knees and ankles as my kids are running around.  I can already see my body failing on me as my feet have started to really bother me in the past couple of months.  It hasn't been officially diagnosed, but I know that I have developed Plantar Fasciitis, and it sucks.  I know that this is mainly caused by lack of physical activity, and the weight that I am carrying around.  So something has to change.

Any good change in lifestyle needs a good support system and that's where #Dadfit comes in.  The way we figure, the more people involved the better.  The more accountable we are, the more likely we are to stick with the changes we wish to make.  

Anyone can be a part of it.

All you have to do is follow the #DadFit hashtag on Twitter or Find us of Facebook.  You can also check out the blog at Dadfit.blogspot.com.  We are only trying make our lives better and with everyones help, I think we can do that.  Feel free to offer us advice or encouragement.  We could certainly use your support.  

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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A Tale of Two Doctors

We have the best of doctors and the worst of doctors.  While Dickens didn't have this in mind it surely fits the bill when it comes to our boys doctor's office.  Our doctor is the best, someone that came highly recommended, and I can see why.  He is just one of those guys that makes you feel like nothing is ever wrong.  You could walk in with your arm completely chopped off and he would magically make you think that there was nothing wrong as if this thing happens to kids all the time.  I don't think that I have ever walked out of HIS office feeling like I got the wrong diagnosis.  I trust him.

Our awesome doctor, Dr. Shih with Carter

That being said we don't always get to see OUR doctor.  Since he is so great, everyone wants to be seen by him, which leaves us sometimes with some of the other doctors in the practice, other doctors that I don't care about in the least, or worse I don't trust.

My oldest son Tyler got hit by allergies pretty bad this spring.  Like a lot of people it turns out he is allergic to pollen.  We had gone on vacation two and a half weeks ago to DC and their pollen season starts a little before ours does in New Jersey, so he got smacked in the face by it.  He only developed these allergies last year so we weren't fully prepared for it.  Back then he was diagnosed with seasonal allergies and we were told to give him Zyrtec or any of the other medications available.  While the symptoms of the allergies lessened other complications arose including a cough that just would not go away.  Which brings us to the doctor in question.

Last year said doctor told us we should get Tyler on an inhaler for his cough.  Like any parent we listened and got him one.  Well that only made Tyler's cough worse, to the point that he would cough for like a minute straight, it was quite aggravating as we don't want to see our child go through anything like this, especially Tyler who has had problems in the past.  I should have known the inhaler was the wrong way to go as this doctor has had us get a nebulizer three times.  I swear you could walk in with a broken arm and this doctor would prescribe some sort of breathing apparatus.  He must think that every child that walks through the doors of his office is asthmatic.  Well since the inhaler obviously didn't work we saw OUR doctor a week later and he said that had a sinus infection, caused most likely by the allergies.  Two weeks later and a course of amoxicillin and Tyler was as good as new.

Fast forward a year later, and we are seeing the same doctor last Friday.  Tyler had all the same problems that he had last year and I explained all this to Dr. Doolittle(butprescribeunecessarymedicine) and I told him I thought it was a sinus infection.  Well, he told me it wasn't that and it was just allergies worsening.  While he didn't prescribe an inhaler or nebulizer, although he did ask us if we ever used one, he said a couple shots of Nasanex in the nostrils every night would do the trick.  I should have known better, this only made Tyler cough more and since we gave it to him before bedtime, this was a problem.  I took him back to the doctor last night and saw another doctor in the practice, not OUR doctor, but one that I trust.  After analyzing Tyler and hearing about his symptoms he diagnosed him with a sinus infection.  How could he ever think that?  Of course the two weeks of amoxicillin just started but I can't help but feel Tyler will be back to normal in no time.  That doctor could obviously be wrong too but I don't think so.

I know that being a doctor is an incredibly hard job, and they see all kinds of sick kids in the course of the day, but to have one that you don't trust is frightening.  You essentially put the lives of your children in the hands of these people, thinking that they know what is right for your child.  I am not a doctor, so I can only listen to what they have to say and trust that they know what they are talking about.  That being said, I will never take my sons to that doctor again, I don't trust him.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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The Pollen Allergy Cure

It's spring and that can only mean ONE thing Tyler's allergies are flaring up bigtime.  The culprit?

He is like a lot of people this time of year, it's estimated that 35 million people in the US alone have a pollen allergy.

I wouldn't send him in a field of flowers but there is not much you can do to stop the bees.

He takes medication for it but I feel the only way to stop the allergies is for one man to build something

It's time for Dr. Doofenshmirtz to build an Antipollendepollenator

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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Johnny on the Spot

This is not a training potty. Sure it has a little figure of Elmo on it, but it is one of the most foul things you will find. This is Carters very own personal cesspool. When Tyler learned to go to the bathroom it was as if the world was stopping. "I gotta go potty," he would yell, making a beeline for the crapper. Carter on the other hand is much more stealth about it, you don't know if he is going doody unless you hear the faint sounds of Elmo saying, "you're growing up, just like Elmo." Elmo unfortunately doesn't tell us all the time how big of a kid Carter is becoming. So what happens? A big pile of crap sits in this little Elmo cesspool until somebody smells it, and by then it smells like a gang of mexicans have been eating burritos in my bathroom.

The obvious thing is to remove this potty from my house, but where do you dispose of this hazardous waste site? I would need one of those porta-potty companies to come and do it. Why don't we get rid of it? Well it's the same reason why it took us forever to get rid of his binky, his bottles, and his crib. We don't want to upset the little guy. Carter has always been more emotional than most (my wife's genes) and doesn't take well to change (my doing). So you put these two together and you unleash a beast of a child, or so you would think. There was never much of a fit when we got rid of his binky, he didn't stop drinking when we introduced the straw, and he still sleeps even without his little crib, although he does run into my bed more often.

Like a lot of parents, I am sure, we don't want to upset our kids in anyway, but we do have to realize that things need to be done for there own good. I think we have a little more anxiety over what might happen as opposed to what actually does happen. Kids have an amazing ability to adapt, it's us as parents that can't cope with change. As much as we complain sometimes about how they need to act like a big kid we never really WANT them to grow up. While we love the milestones that these kids hit, it scares the hell out of us how quickly they hit them. From binky, to bottle, to driving a car, to going off to college, to getting married and having kids of their own, it all goes too fast. I think I'll keep the potty a little bit longer. Not so much for him, but for me. Just like Elmo, my little guy is growing up.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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I'm Sick Daddy

This is the face of a sick little boy. Carter has been coughing for the past few days, and by coughing it sounds like there is some sort of giant Labrador roaming around our house. He gets the worst case of croup cough which might explain why he has a raspy voice.



When Carter asked me if I had anything to make him feel better I was at a loss. Nobody wants to see their little boy struggling through the day especially one that's sounds like he could eat you. I have no magic pill and these are issues that mom deals with much better than dad does. Unfortunately when Carter wakes up in the middle of the night who does he want? That's right, mom. I am sure it's a problem that a lot of stay at home dads deal with. We are generally not the nurturing ones. We can make sure they are fed, have clean clothes, and give them a bath, but when it comes to comforting them when they are sick it's something that mom is way better at.



But alas I can take the poor little guy to the doctor and I already knew what he had, which was nothing major, only that barking cough thing. Of course at the doctors office no symptoms are shown as if the door to the office is some magic portal to a healthy land. I don't think he fully understands how the doctor works though, something I will have to sit down with him later and explain. On the car ride home he asked me if he was all better now, as if breathing and getting your ears looked at is the cure all. Sure that's it! No more sickness you are cured. It was either something the doctor did or more likely the lollipops he got after. I am convinced that doctors know they don't have the answers all the time but as soon as the kid gets their hand on a lollipop magically they get better. So I guess I DO have something that will make him feel better. Next time I will have a big bag of lollipops on hand and save me the trip to the doctor's office.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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Attack of the Boy Eating Tarantula!

Nobody wants to be woken up in the middle of the night… in this case it was 5:30, but its still too early to get out of bed.  At least for the kids anyway.  It turns out Tyler was having a nightmare of the most unimaginable kind.

He was being attacked by a TARANTULA!

Not knowing at this early hour where these goliaths are from, I assured him that they only live in jungles and the closest jungle was somewhere in South America and that he should go back to sleep.  All was quiet until he thought that maybe they could get on a boat to Canada.  Now certainly that could be possible although highly unlikely I thought.  They could get on the boat when people are not looking, he told me, and head on the long voyage to the great white north.

Now if that could happen he must really be dreaming.

He wasn’t scared of just the big wooly monsters, he told me of a spider with a diamond shape on his head that ate an entire goats head.  Hell if I ran across something like that I would have nightmares too!  It was way too early to take all of this in.

Not Just Spiders!

It didn’t end with the spiders, he was also being attacked by crabs.  Now we didn’t get into the size of these crabs as I was too focused on the tarantula, but the idea of a crab breaking into our house making his way upstairs to my sons room and attacking him just seems preposterous. Unless of course they were Crabus Gigandus, huge man eating crabs that only existed on a small island off the coast of Spain.

What is it with these multilegged beasts attacking my son?

The only spiders I know of live in our garage and while they are pretty big, one stomp of the shoe sends them to their grave. As far as thecrabs, there is only one logical explanation, my kids have been watching way too much Scooby Doo.  Its time to start watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse again, although i am afraid that mice will start breaking into our house in the middle of the night… and who wants that?

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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It's More Than a Tooth

It was another one of those momentous days that kind of kicks you in the pants.  You expect that it is coming but you never really are prepared for how you are going to feel when it arrives.  My big boy Tyler finally lost his first tooth.

He was the last of his friends to lose a tooth and I kind of liked it that way.  He has the perfect little smile for a six year old kid, I guess now its perfect minus one little lower chomper.

As a Stay at Home Dad, I see my son more than most fathers and never really appreciate just what a big kid Tyler is becoming.  Going through the daily minutia, I never sit back and think about him growing up.  Sure he can read now, figure out video games that I would have no clue whats going on, and facetime mommy from my iphone, but all of those things came gradually. This whole tooth losing thing really hit me.  It got me to thinking.

I have a hard time with the kids growing up.  In the spring after the last of the snow melts I think about how its going to be another year before they can go sledding again. In the summertime its when the fireflies are no longer out and you don’t know if the next summer they will care about chasing them down.  In the fall its when you go apple and pumpkin picking for that one day knowing its going to be a whole year before THAT happens again.  Winter hits me hard, the same day Tyler lost his tooth was also the same day I took down the Christmas tree.  No one ever wants that magic to end, and I can only think that there will be a little less excitement each and every year.

So I know that it is only a tooth and there will be more that fall out. There are certainly going to be other moments that sneak up on me.  I need to enjoy those moments more.  He IS growing up and there is nothing I can do stop it regardless of the amount of coffee I pour down his throat or the number of cigarettes we smoke together.  I jest of course, but if I could keep him just the way he is I would.  I said that of course when he was four months old, and three years old and so on.  I am sure I will say the same thing when he is 10.  Everything with him only gets better, and I only get more proud with each passing day.

I created this blog to share with you my  misadventures with my kids.  Some posts will be more benign than others.. I only hope that you will enjoy watching my kids grow up as much as I do.  Thanks for reading! 

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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