July 4, 2011

Blogger Idol 2011... about me

Week two of Blogger Idol 2011 is in full swing.  I have been practicing with the band, and Jimmy Iovine has been offering his advice.  You will see what we have been working on on Wednesday.  It's a topic that I struggled over for some time.  In the meantime this is the piece that got me through week one.  We were asked to write an about me piece.  This sort of thing can be very difficult to write as you can certainly go in so many directions.  The judges comments follow the piece.


Well, I bought a big screen TV and hung it on my wall with the hopes of watching endless sporting events and movies with lots of explosions. However, images of Scooby Doo have been burned into the plasma over the years.


I finished off the basement of my house with thoughts of a pool table and a fully stocked bar, but ended up with a floor covered in legos and a refrigerator full of juice boxes.


I have an awesome grill on my back deck with enough BTU to roast a pig and a side of beef at the same time, but I find I am usually eating leftover macaroni and cheese every night.


I have a set of golf clubs in my garage with visions of teeing off at August one day, but the closest I come to the fairways nowadays is the Fairway Market grocery store.

I am a highly educated individual graduating with a bachelors degree from Syracuse University, but a lot of my conversations deal with pee pee and doody.


I have two kids, both of whom are potty trained, yet I still find myself wiping their butts from time to time.


My kids both have two feet and know how to walk, however it seems that I carry them everywhere.


I own a king size bed that I was going to spread out on as I fell asleep each night. But after the kids jump in in the middle of the night, I either sleep on the very edge of it, or on one of my sons twin beds more often than not.


I used to hob nob with celebrities working in my old job in television news, now my idea of a movie star is either Sheriff Woody or Buzz Lightyear.


Who am I?


I am a dad, and I wouldn't have it any other way.



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Judges Comments: 

"I learned a lot about you in this post and there was a smattering of humor that worked quite well. However.... the structure of the post felt awkward after the first 3 or 4 now/then statements.

Next time, I suggest using a more formal approach [normal paragraphs with humor worked throughout] after the first 2 or 3 coupled statements.

Overall a solid turn in. But not memorable."
-Allison, from SVALLIE.NET: The Nerd Connection

"I did like the post, however, I am a big believer in the rule of 3's. When listing things, I try really hard to make sure that I only use 3 examples, otherwise it becomes tedious and predictable. I did like the post, but I felt like it could have been written by any parent. It's relatable, but it doesn't let us know about YOU specifically. Just your role as a parent. "
-Heather, from My Husband Ate All My Ice Cream 

"I agree with Heather. While the post was something I definitely relate to (it was a play by play of most of my days) it wasn't something that would just stick in my head.

The repeating style of statements should be avoided. It was easy to see where it was going after the second "I have...".

Overall though, it was a good post. Give it a little tweaking, and keep typing away. "
-The Dude, from The Daddyyo Blog 

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So I can't say that I totally agree with what the judges had to say but it is certainly something that I will take into account in my upcoming entries.  The idea was to appeal to a mass audience and I think that was something that I accomplished, but hey, we move on to week two!


John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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2 comments:

  1. Who cares what they say! Write what is comfortable to you. If your main concern is just getting readers then follow them. If your main concern is having a place to vent and have "me" time then continue what you are doing. I love your blog and so do your followers.

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  2. Thanks so much... You can't force something that isn't there. I am not going to change the way I write. Ultimately people will come if I am myself. I can't be someone I am not. The judges have their style and people go to their blogs because of that.

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