January 10, 2012


People ask me everyday how I spend time with my kids.  Normally we play with Legos or video games like anyone else would, but I also have to try and teach them things about being a man.  Part of being a man is learning how to relieve yourself of gases inside your body.  I can't tell you how many times that my boys come to me crying that their belly hurts.  My first instinct is to get them on the potty and try to get whatever is causing this issue out of their system.  I know it's probably the eight pounds of candy that they ingest daily, but as much as I tell them that eating all that candy is going to give them a belly ache, they don't listen.

Sitting down on the toilet doesn't always work though and this is where training to be a smelly gaseous man comes into play.  I know that when my stomach hurts, not from Carter punching me but from something I ate, it's usually a gas bubble that has built up inside of me.  Kids need to know how to get this bubble out.

Let's first take a look at Tyler.  He is the older of my two boys and the one that complains the most about tummy troubles:

Clearly he needs to work on reaching a little deeper into his abdomen and getting that bubble out.  He could probably communicate with a whale, but that won't do anything the relieve himself of any man gases.

Carter is a little bit younger and he doesn't seem to complain as much as his older brother about his belly, but when he does the complaining is twice as loud:

Now judging between the two, I think Carter is much closer to accomplishing this challenging task.  As you can see he digs deeper into his belly and what comes out, while not a full fledged burp is much closer to what it should be.  It's not surprising that he would be more advanced than his brother based on some of his other abilities.

Obviously we need a lot of work on this and schooling will continue.  One day my house with be filled with a bunch of burping men and my wife will certainly be happy that I was such a positive influence in my boys lives.

I look at this, as bonding time between me and the kids, and THAT is how I like to spend my day.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?



  1. That is so awesome! I'm trying to teach my 2 yo to fart on command. So far, no luck. But I'm going to make it happen soon. I love your boys!

  2. My boys can fart but thankfully they can't do it on cue because a lot of the time I am being wrestled to the ground and then they proceed to sit on my head. I've smelled them and I am not so sure I want to be put in that position.

  3. She is a GREAT woman. She thinks anything the boys do is cute and I am sure this won't be an issue.

  4. Very timely post with the gaseous conversation from Twitter last night. Great job on instructing your boys in manliness. You are an inspiration to us all!

    Breckin discovered burping just before Christmas and has just discovered the fart. He thinks they're awesome and my wife and daughter think we're idiots.

  5. Hahaha! That was cute. My kid's could totally give them a run for their money though.;)

  6. Some kids obviously have an advantage at this age but I think this is something that will even itself out in the future. It seems everyone I know my age has the ability to burp and fart so there is hope for them.

  7. Hahaha I love this, so cute! xx

  8. Wonderful! I love seeing the future men of America! I find a little sprite helps bring out the best ones.

    My son loves sharing the after taste of his hot dogs with me. Don't know why, but he feels the need to come right up into my face when he's about to unload.

    Your boys are learning properly! Keep it up. You are an inspiration to us all as previously mentioned by SaskaDad.

  9. Great article John. Thanks for sharing your way of living with your kids. Your kids are really cute. And eating a lot of candies is a normal habit at this age of children. One thing I learned before I became a bestselling author and long before Inc Magazine voted my company as one of the fastest growing companies is that spending a day with your kids is just amazing.

  10. I'm a lady, but I can hold my own in a belching contest. I just realized that my 3yo daughter has inherited this "talent" as well. She already knows how to belch on command. Makes this Momma proud. My 7yo daughter is quiet and thinks we're "gross". Oh well.

    I love this post... you are a great dad to realize that burping could actually help tummy troubles!!!

  11. John, John! Your boys need some better tutelage on the art of burping! A great aid to a great burp is to ingest - VERY QUICKLY - a highly carbonated drink. Let is ferment. When the burp bursts out, say a long "Ralph" and you'll all be in stitches! Check out this comic:


  12. I know that a fizzy drink would help, but I don't give my kids sodas. I feel this is something they need to learn how to do naturally. The will get it someday.

  13. I've been encouraging Isaac to burp and fart since day 1. I give him a high five when he rips a good one (either end) and tell him "nice one!" in order for him to know he's doing a good thing.

    Sure it's not the best table manners, but you only have so long in your life that you can truly get away with it, you may as well take advantage, right?

    He's not even 18 months yet so it hasn't sunk in, but I like to think I'm laying some good groundwork.