December 3, 2012

Fly Away Elf

I don't know why I let this little guy in my house.

He has done nothing but torture me since the day he entered the picture.  Half the time he doesn't move, and when he does the kids don't notice that he did.  But God forbid he decides to not fly and go report to Santa one night, and I have to be inundated with questions as to why that was the case.

You mock me
We got along perfectly fine without him.  There was no questioning things like Santa Claus and how he knows if the kids were naughty or nice.  It was just something that they took for granted.  But now we add another layer to the deception and you can see the wheels turning in the kids heads that maybe something is up.

It's all because of this stupid little elf.

I don't know how he came to be, at least in our house anyway.  I am sure some kids were talking about it at school one day and Tyler mentioned that it was something we should do.  We probably thought it was a cute idea at the time, not realizing the torture that he was going to put us through.

The first time he appeared in our house this year, my five year old looked at him with this ridiculous look on his face.

"Daddy you put that there." Carter said to me.
"What are you talking about, that's an elf from the North Pole." I explained
"No it's not, he's plastic."

It's hard to argue really.  I mean this is something that you can buy at the store out of a box.  Why on Earth would Santa put a bunch of elves in boxes that you can buy at the Hallmark Store for $29.95?  It makes no sense to me, and I think it is starting to make no sense to the kids.

I don't know why we perpetuate this "tradition."  It seems to me that it only leaves doubt in the kids minds when they see that the elf has screwed up once again and failed to fly off to the North Pole to report to Santa.  I mean we can only tell the kids so many times that the he must have been drunk or fell asleep or that the kids must have been so nice that day that he didn't need to go anywhere.

Whatever happened to there just being a Santa Claus?

This money making gimmick has to go.  THAT is all it is folks... someone is making a fortune at our expense.

Clearly the people in this video are pulling a fast one on all of us.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?



  1. I never heard of elf on a shelf as a thing until just a couple of years ago. It's a book too?

  2. It came with a book if there is a video I will burn it.

  3. Well that says it all. Now I know why there is the "Elf on the Shelf" No wonder why I have a collection of elfs. Maybe I do believe in Santa after all lol. Thanks for sharing this post. It is delightful! Donna

  4. You know how our Elf came to be? Gift from a relative. That's a blog post I'm working on..the unnecessary gifts our kids get from relatives.

  5. Those elves kinda creep me out.