October 4, 2011

Taking Back My Bed

I don't know if this is a problem that is ever going to get solved.  I fear the only way to accomplish it is to shatter my boys knee caps, and I don't want to live with that on my conscience.  Besides I would have to carry them more than I already do.  The problem is one that many parents face, their bed is no longer their own.

It's been this way since Tyler started sleeping in a big boy bed, sometime in the middle of the night, the pitter patter of little footsteps can be heard making their way from his room to mine.  Only now the problem is double, Carter is doing the same thing.  We have one of those big King beds but it's amazing how much space little kids can take up, especially the younger one.  Tyler really hasn't been that much of an issue as he sleeps nearest to my wife, Carter on the other hand can only sleep when he is pressed up against someone - which is usually me.  I am forced to sleep on the very edge of the bed usually with a knee stuck in my back, or an elbow on my neck choking the life out of me.  Hey if he chokes me to death maybe then I could actually get some sleep right.

Carter is a rock.  Only he is also like a boomerang too.  Every time I pick him up to move him over, he immediately rolls right back to where he was, if not closer.  That leaves me with even less room than I started with, and less sleep than I wanted to get.

At first it was cute.  

The boys wanted to cuddle, and who are we to pass that opportunity up. Everyone always says, enjoy it now because soon enough they won't want to run to your bed. Well, I'm ready.  I would like sleep, uninterrupted sleep that is.

One solution I guess would be to lock my door, but I know that would only lead to banging and it would wake me up anyway.  Another thing friends of ours tried was to turn the locks around on their door and lock them in their room at night.  I have no issue if you want to do that, but I in my right mind cannot lock my kids in their room.  I do not run a prison, although sometimes I feel like I am in one, and I just think there a safety issue involved with that.

What am I left with?

My only options are two.  One, I suck it up until they go off to college or I sleep in their beds.  I have sometimes gone with option two and it has worked, so from now on, I'm taking back their beds.  They can have mine. 

I just hope they don't pee in it!

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?



  1. This was not a problem for us - I don't know if it had to do with them sleeping in their own room as infants or the double gate we put on my son's door..no lock but gate on top of gate. We didn't even do that with the second one - it just happened to work for us that we didn't have to deal with it.

  2. LOL--I'm sorry, I truly do feel your pain. Oldest 23, youngest 7....btdt for a looooong time, lol. But it does get better, I promise. No more in our bed anymore. Might be b/c they decided it was easier to be naughty in the mornings if they were in their own room.......lol. ;)

  3. Kids is bed can be a problem. Obviously they will stop before they go to college, but let them own this and they will try and own much more than you want them to own. Talk with your wife. Pick a week that you're willing to lose (although it probably won't take a week). When they come in, bring them back to bed and walk out. If they follow, put them back and guard the door. They will probably scream, cry and carry on. So be it. The next night, remind them they will sleep in their own bed the whole night and offer a reward if they do (small one). If they come into your bed, repeat the procedure of the previous night. It may take a night or two, but you must win this battle. When my son was 7, I made the mistake of sleeping in his bed one night to comfort him. That went on for ten days until I decided no more. The 1st night was bad, but it was only bad for about 1/2 hour. No problem the 2nd night. Good luck, and remember they won't hate you forever, probably no more than a year or two:-).

  4. My condolences. I've heard nothing but horror stories about kids sleeping in their parents' beds. My kids are only 2 years old, and we've never let them sleep in our bed. Thanks for reminding me why - and I hope we can stand firm even as they get older and more persuasive.

  5. We don't let them... they never start there, they just sneak in like little ninjas in the middle of the night and take over. It's too tiring to go through the sleep training thing again. My youngest used to be great, even slept in his own big boy bed for about a year without running in. I think he has a fear of being alone.

  6. YES! We are there with my son! My husband hates it and has ended up on the couch almost every night for almost a year!!! One day, we can only hope to laugh, right?!

  7. Here's something someone once suggested to me... never tried it but you might... they kept a sleeping bag under their bed. And if any of their children wanted the comforts of Mom and Dad they were welcome in but had to sleep on the floor in the sleeping bag. They said it was great for them. Can't hurt to try!

  8. My youngest tries to climb in bed sometimes. When she wakes up dad and Beelzebub appears from dads head she thinks twice!

  9. Oooh scare tactics... that might work. Or my kid will NEVER sleep again. Their beds actually are quite comfortable but they don't have those 800 count sheets I have on my bed. Either I have to go shopping, or I have to solve this problem.

  10. We never dealt with that problem, all praises be to Allah. Somewhere along the way, we instilled the virtue of a good night's sleep, and after a little training the first month of the "big boy bed," our son stopped getting out of bed at stupid hours.

    My friend, you might be too late to change their routine. Once you let them in, they remember. I convinced our son that our bed was made of fire. That worked for a week. But it takes 21 days to change a routine. At this point, you're screwed into their 30's.

  11. Never had this problem myself with any of my children but then saying that we have never allowed them to be in our bedroom ever, unless its to wake us up if they had a nightmare or something serious. To be honest i think if i found them in my bed i would go nuts, i have heard many of my friends go on about it and asking how to get them to stop, and the simple answer is tell them that enough is enough and they must stay in their own beds at night, if you see them coming into your bedroom and your wake up from it then just turn around and tell them to get back to their own beds.

    The way i see it we are the parents they are the children, they listen to us not the other way around, i really hope you get it sorted out mate so you can have some well deserved rest :)

  12. Oh don't get me started on this topic! Have you had the H-formation yet? Where you sleep on one side of the bed and your wife is on the other side with your child spreading across the width of the mattress? I wrote about this here a couple of weeks ago: http://dadinthecloud.com/blog/2011/8/16/dont-let-your-kids-do-this-to-you.html
    Just last night we had another episode of elbow-in-rib cage/knee-in-stomach fun! Someone help us pleeeease!!!!!!

  13. They have a great ability to sleep perpendicular to us... I never understood that. Ours is not an "H" they have us head and toe. I fear this is something we are going to put up with for years... Get used to the couch my friend.