Kindness is Contagious

It seems like the only news we hear nowadays is bad news.

With terror attacks in Paris, wars raging in the Middle East, and mass shootings in California, it's hard to realize that there is a lot of good in this world as well.  We don't celebrate the random acts of kindness like we do the random acts of terror, but perhaps we should.  

Good news is boring.

As a news guy I've always worked under the "If it bleeds, it leads" mantra.  Watch the news and there is always a murder or a fire as the top story. It's never about the guy that held the door for the little old lady at the mall.  If you go by what's in the paper or on the nightly news you would think that nothing good ever happens.  But it does.

The world is filled with good people. Some times it just takes a little kick for people to realize that.  For every person filled with hate there are literally MILLIONS of people who are filled with good. But some times we forget that.

A photo posted by @jdubs44 on Nov 29, 2015 at 6:22pm PST

Last weekend I was in my hometown of Geneseo, NY driving around looking at all the old sights like I do every time I visit my parents.  I stopped in Cricket's Coffee Company on Main Street and bought a $50 gift certificate.  I told the two workers behind the counter, Mike and Jordan, that I didn't want to use it; I wanted THEM to use it.  I asked them if they could buy people coffee as they came in.  Thanks to them I was able to spread a little holiday cheer in my home town.

I got a message from the coffee house later in the day telling me that thanks to my random act of kindness people began paying it forward and they ended up serving $100 of gifted coffee that day. If that's not proof that kindness is contagious, I'm not sure what is.  You never know what one good deed will lead to until you do it.

A photo posted by @jdubs44 on Nov 30, 2015 at 7:39am PST

I decided not to stop there.  When I got home I went to the nearest Toys "R" Us and bought a $50 gift card. I asked Caroline if she would find someone who could use it a little more than I could.  After looking at me like I was nuts, she of course said she would find someone buying Christmas presents for their kids.  I don't know what happened after I left or who she gave the card to, but I like to think that that person paid it forward as well.  Maybe they didn't buy someone else a $50 gift card, but perhaps they did a little something like holding the door for a little old lady.

Perhaps we don't celebrate the random acts of kindness like we should because they are happening all around us.  We seem to focus on the bad, but forget to realize that people are inherently good. People don't do nice things to draw attention to themselves or to gain praise, they just do it and hope others do it as well.

A photo posted by @jdubs44 on Nov 24, 2015 at 10:27am PST

I've partnered with KIND Snacks and Life of Dad to draw attention to people doing kind things. Their #kindawesome campaign spreads kindness by celebrating kind acts.  KIND has been on a mission since day one to inspire kindness and their hope is that it resonates with parents as they try to instill kindness in their kids.

It's important now more than ever we teach our kids the RIGHT thing, the KIND thing. If you know of someone doing something nice and would like to reward them, hit me up on my Facebook page and let me know.

*I've partnered with Life of Dad and KIND Snacks for this promotion.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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15 Things That Need to End in 2015

Happy New Year

It's amazing how much changes when the calendar flips from December 31st to January 1st.  Everything is fresh and new and we can all start over with our lives. No more do we have to think about how horrible the past year was and we can all look forward to the exciting things that lie ahead. Or something like that.  The truth is the new year really doesn't mean that much.  Sure it's a good time to reflect and think about what you want to change going forward, but in actuality not much really does.  Everyone goes to the gym for a couple of weeks, they lose a few pounds, then they fall of the wagon, stop going to the gym and gain it all right back.

It seems everything is like that though.  We all talk about how much we want to change in the new year, but things usually end up pretty much the same as in years past.  But there are some things that HAVE to change in the New Year.

1. People talking on their cell phones in public. Don't do it in the line at Starbucks. Don't do it in line at the bank.  DO NOT DO IT ANYWHERE.  I can't tell you how many times I've seen someone chatting away on their phones as they are checking out their groceries or ordering a cup of coffee.  Please give that person standing in front of you your full undivided attention.  It's beyond rude.  With that said...

2. People that talk on SPEAKERPHONE.  Seriously?!  I don't want to hear both ends of your conversation.  It's bad enough that I have to hear what you are saying and now you want me to hear what your Aunt Shelia is saying too.  Next time I see you I hope it's at Home Depot so I can smash your phone with a hammer.

3. People that autopost from Twitter to Facebook.  There is no reason.  It's two different social mediums; treat them as such.  Never should an @ be found on Facebook.

4. Chewing gum in public.  It's disgusting. Have you ever driven past a cow pasture and seen all the cows just sitting there chewing?  That's what you all look like.

5. Arguing politics online.  Has there ever been a political argument online where one side realized the error in their ways and completely flipped their opinion.  The next time it happens will be the first.  Everyone has an opinion and everyone is wrong.

6. People not getting vaccinated.  It's stupid.  I just got my dog shots so that she wouldn't die of distemper.  Why wouldn't you get a shot to prevent your kids from dying of a potentially fatal disease?

7. Racism.  I know that this is impossible.  As long as two people don't look like each other there will always hate amongst the races.  It makes no sense to me though.  Look at a group of kids playing with each other.  None of them care about what the other person looks like, they just want to play.  Why can't adults be like that?  So stop teaching your kids to hate each other.

8. Gun violence.  I don't want to take away your right to have a gun, far from it.  If you want to carry one that's fine.  I just want to make sure that you are doing it in the safest way possible and that a person who shouldn't own a gun doesn't.  There is no need for someone to be carrying a gun in a Walmart store so that their two year old can kill them with it.  There is no need for you to walk into an Arby's with an AK-47.  I will never understand why people say that the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.  It seems we hear too often about the bad guys and not enough about the good guys.  More guns is NOT the answer and instead of not talking about things and sitting behind the Second Amendment, lets have a human discussion.

9. Cops shooting unarmed people.  I've heard too many stories like this.  I know that being a cop is not the easiest job in the world and that their next shift could possibly be their last, but we hear about these types of stories far too often.  I don't know how cops are trained to handle certain situations, but pulling up to a 12 year old in the park and killing him in two seconds is not the way to go.

10. People shooting the police. Stop it.  It does nothing to further your cause.  The only thing that it does is make things exponentially worse for everyone.

11. Poverty/ War/ whatever other unattainable goal.  We can try, but this is never going to happen.  Seven billion people living on a rock in space where two thirds of it is covered by water?  There are just too many people and too many of them want to be in charge.

12.  Talking about Stay at Home Dads as if Working Moms don't exist.  I'm a stay at home dad for no other reason than my wife is a freaking rock star.  Sure there seems to be more of us SAHDs every year, but that would also mean that there are more households with the working mom as the sole breadwinner.  Lets hear some stories about them and their struggles for a change.

13. My dog pooping on the floor.  It might not rank up there with some of the others, but it's something that really needs to stop.  She knows where the door is, she knows how to let me know she has to go, she needs to stop dropping deuce on the dining room floor.  Newborn puppies are harder than newborn babies.

Help me out puppy

14. Group texts. Please don't include me in one.  I barely care about your original text and I am certainly not going to care about seven one word responses from people I don't know.  The only way to truly put an and to this is for people to stop hitting "Reply All."  You have that option, use it.

15.  List posts.  They are lazy ways to write things and they are oversaturated in our society now.  I get it that people will invest their time though when they know they only have to read 15 things.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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My Son is a Melon Head

"If you eat too much of that, you are going to turn into a melon."

We as parents are guilty of saying some pretty stupid things.  How many times have you threatened the cops on your kids, or tried to get them to behave at a restaurant by saying that the manager was watching, as if the manager of a restaurant actually has some sort of power, and the ability to make your child behave.  If he did, I am bringing that guy to my house to get my kids in line.  That's the best we can come up with?  The manager?  Personally I would be more scared of the guy in the kitchen that you don't see, like the dishwasher.  Anyway, you get my point, we ALL say some strange things to our kids and a lot of it is used as a last resort, when all else fails.

I caught myself using the line about the police coming last night.  Carter was in one of those crying fits and just would not shut up.  Instead of saying that the police were going to get him though, I said that they were going to take me away, I certainly could have used the break.  Of course it didn't work and I was stuck with a screaming four year old for another twenty minutes until he forgot about what he was crying about in the first place.  I think at this point my kids are terrified of the police, and would never harm a fly or steal anything in their lives, so I guess that some good has probably come from it.  Of course, that being said, police are now bad guys coming to haul people off to jail.

Lego jail can be a hard cruel place

I don't know why I said that Carter was going to turn into a melon.  I just wanted him to eat the rest of his food.  Its not like melon is a bad thing, but when you put a plate of food in front of somebody, you would rather them eat some of everything, not all of one thing.  Of course Carter wasn't going to turn into a melon, but what does he know, he very well could.  Maybe the idea would trigger something in his brain to start focusing on his other food.

He likes melons... so does daddy;)

In the end though, Carter kept on eating the melon and you know what happened, nothing.  He didn't turn into a melon.  Just like the cops have never come to our house and the manager of the Applebees could care less that my son is causing a scene.  When all is said and done, we are basically lying to our kids and if we keep doing that you know what is going to happen, our noses are going to grow just like Pinocchios.

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John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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Upside Down Sandwiches?

Why does an upside down sandwich taste so much different? 

I mean, we always put the condiments and what not on TOP. If you flip it over and eat it with the mayo on the bottom, it just doesn't seem like the same sandwich right? Would you ever put a piece of lettuce and tomato underneath your deli meat?  Some people might, I don't. 

Why do we do that? 

Two all beef patties...

It's the same thing with the way we eat hamburgers, the big part of the bun is ALWAYS on top. Would you ever consider turning it upside down and have the more puffy part of the bun on the bottom? I for one, would look at someone like they were crazy. Imagine biting through a pickle and ketchup with your bottom teeth first. You might as well be eating a hot dog, it's just not the same thing. 

I always eat my sandwich the same way, obviously with mayo, cheese, and whatever else on the top, but I actually eat it the same way every time. I start with the crust and eat around in a circle until all the crust is gone, then I finish the rest. Never once have I just eaten straight through and had my last bite be a piece of the crust. 

I have nothing against crust in general. I just can't have it be the last thing that I remember about my sandwich. 

Apple is my favorite

It always amazes me how when you do something one way your entire life, it's really hard to break that pattern. I eat pie the same way every time, which strangely means I eat the crust LAST, I always save a couple of fries until after my burger, and always eat the tops of a muffin last. Everything just tastes better that way, and I have no idea why. 

I assume I am not alone in this. At least I hope I am not anyway.

As for my kids developing these sort of behaviors?  Well, the next time the actually eat their food I will let you know.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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Holy Jerkoff Batman

We have turned a corner somewhat in my house, no longer is the obsession Star Wars. Superheroes has reared its ugly head, and I can't say that I am totally happy with it. You see Star Wars is something that I was familiar with - I knew the characters, even though a new one is introduced every week on the Clone Wars TV show.  Superheroes are something I have no clue about, except that Aquaman is the coolest of all of them.

This will be the bane of my existence next spring

I don't know the difference between Marvel and DC and what ever made up crazy superhero there is out there.  I do know that my boys new obsession is with Batman and Spiderman, so much so in fact, they have decided to go as Spiderman and some black knockoff of Spiderman for Halloween.  I don't even know what the other guys name is, but I guarantee you my boys do, and as soon as the Lego superheros come out in January, you know where I will be headed.

On a recent trip to McDonalds - we go there maybe once a week, partly because I am a lazy cook and partly because the boys LOVE to play there - the Happy Meal came with Superhero toys.  We were surprised to see this as they were supposed to come with Ben 10 toys, whatever that is.  My boys were excited to say the least.  They now had a new toy that they could play with for five minutes - before it ended up stuck between the seats of our car surrounded by popcorn and french fries.  Carter got the Joker and Tyler got Batman, each was happy with their new toy.  I was not.  I have no idea what McDonalds or the company that made these toys was thinking, or maybe it was just my sick mind lost somewhere in the gutter.  I'll let you be the judge:

It seems to me that the arm action is slightly inappropriate for a toy that is being given out in a Happy Meal.  I don't know what Batman is trying to tell my kids here, or maybe we are playing with it the wrong way, but I don't want to know what he has in his utility belt, if you know what I mean.  I further inspected the packaging and found the instructions as to how to play with this toy and it seems after making this arm movement this is what happens:

He shoots, he scores!

OK, so now we know that if Batman does that enough, bats come flying out of his, ahem, belfry. Thank you McDonalds for this very important anatomy lesson, I think this is as good a time as any to teach my kids about the birds and the bees, or bats for that matter.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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Taking Back My Life #2

Last week when I first wrote about taking back my life, I knew that it was going to be a difficult process. There are some habits that the boys have now that I don't like, and breaking those was going to be a difficult thing to do. It's akin to teaching an old dog some new tricks - certainly not something that is easy to do, but with time can be done. 

At least that is what I hope. 

They look to me to be their anchor

The first thing that I realized was that change had to start from within. If I didn't like the way that I was behaving, then there is nothing that the boys could do to make me change. I need to stop MY behavior. The first thing that I tried to do was not yell so much. I can see, especially with my youngest, that if he sees me yelling all the time, then he thinks that it is OK to do the same. It's not. If I approach any problems with a cooler head, I think that I will be able solve some issues much more easily. 

I am not going to lie to you and say that I stopped cold turkey. There are times this past week when things just got to be too much, and I was forced to let it out. That being said, I made an effort to not yell so much, and I will say that I can already see a difference in myself. It feels much better to not be so angry with the kids over stupid things like Legos or eating the last piece of their breakfast. 

What I have come to realize is that these are kids and they are going to emulate whatever the parents do. If they see me doing something, maybe they will do the same. If I yell, they will yell. If I go about things in a calmer manner, hopefully they will do the same. 

Taking my life back starts with me, and nobody else but me.


I will be sharing updates on the progress of my Take Back my Life Project every Tuesday. I am sure their will be setbacks along the way but in the long run, everyone will be better for it. Wish me luck!

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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Taking Back My Life

I've been yelling a lot lately, too much for my own good, and I don't like it.

STOP!
ENOUGH!
AHHHH!


Those are just three of my most spoken phrases nowadays. I am getting really annoyed at the kids, but moreso I am getting annoyed with myself and who I have become. I never thought that I would be one of those parents that yelled at their kids. I would see people at the mall or the grocery store screaming at their kids and always judge them as awful parents.

How could they scream at an innocent little angel like that?

That was before I became a stay at home dad. Now I am THAT guy at Walmart yelling at his kids to keep their hands off of everything and that they can't have a drink or a new Lego set everytime we walk into a store. I have fed into this monster in the past, and I am here today to say that I am taking my life back.

I know what you are thinking, my life is not my own now, I have two kids to think about, and that is true, but I can't go on the with way things are. In the past I would give into their every want and need, not because I wanted to spoil them, but because it was easier to say yes, than it ever was to say no. If my kids made a mess, instead of having to fight them to clean it up, it was easier to live with it and watch them destroy something else in the house. Now my house is a mess, and it's become embarrassing.

I wouldn't call the past a series of mistakes on my part, more a learning experience.

Things have snowballed recently and there are times I have become enraged to the point that I can't stand myself. I was recently filming my kids for a video that I was putting together and I noticed between their cuteness I was yelling... A lot.

There are times that I completely lose control, and while I would never hit my kids to the point of abuse I can see how parents get to that point. I scare my self sometimes.

There is a new school year that starts tomorrow and with it I am going to take the time to teach my boys and myself a few new things. There are going to be some new rules and some new responsibilities FOR ALL OF US.

This is not to say in anyway that I am going to take the fun out of my kids lives, and turn them into slaves who jump at my every command. I can't have my kids grow up spoiled rotten and expect to get things when they want it all the time. They need to start learning about stuff like consequences and earning things, all stuff that I haven't stressed enough with them in the past.

They are great kids who are for the most part well behaved, but there are things though that I don't like and I need to put a stop to it, for them and for me. It's not going to be easy. It's hard to erase the previous seven years of feeding the beast. There will be growing pains as everyone gets used to the new rules. I expect a lot of crying in the coming weeks and months, maybe even years ahead, most of it will probably be from me.

If I don't put a stop to it now, I don't know if I ever will. For the sake of all of us, things will get better.

I was never THAT guy but I can slowly see him creeping up on me in the mirror. I don't want to be THAT guy.

I am taking my life back, and it all starts right now.

I am a shadow of the dad I used to be

I will be sharing updates on the progress of my Take Back my Life Project every Tuesday. I am sure their will be setbacks along the way but in the long run, everyone will be better for it. Wish me luck!

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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Tickle me Elmo

I tickle when I get mad. Not with everyone, just my kids. I think that would be weird if I got pulled over by a cop and I got out of the car and started to tickle him. It probably would cause a few more problems than what I was already facing in the first place.

Carter midtickle

The way I figure, I can take out some of my frustration and change the behavior at the same time. Maybe it's a little illogical but it works for me. I know my kids weaknesses, and can take them down with only one finger. That's a pretty powerful ability, one that not even a lot of superheroes can master.

Sometimes as a parent you can just get so frustrated you really have no option. I can honestly see why people hit their kids, I don't condone that in any way but I can certainly see why they would. I can't tell you how many times I have wanted throw my kids out a window or up against a wall, I think we all have at times. In the end though I remind myself that these are kids and I was just as annoying if not more than they were when I was their age. I am sure that I should have been smacked around a few times, if not then, definitely now.

Lets just say he gets tickled a lot

So what am I left with? I tickle. I am ticklish myself and I can't stand it. I know the feeling of being tickled is on an equal level of some of the most severe torture techniques that the CIA can come up with. I don't tickle long, just enough in just the right places, or wrong places I guess until they stop or I feel better. It might not be the best way to get the kids in line and I am sure that people would take issue with it, but I have yet to see anyone rally to stop parents from tickling their kids, and I don't think that DYFS is heading to my house anytime soon.

As for Elmo himself, I don't think anyone would have an issue with me if I happened to punch HIM in the nose? Would you?

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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