Too Young to Die

I can barely walk.

The pain in my hip is excruciating.  I don't know how my kids do it, but by the time one of their viruses gets to me it has exploded into some flesh eating super virus.  Just this past weekend Tyler came down with what we assume was synovitis.  He had a noticeable limp and complained that his hip was hurting.  This has happened before to both of my boys and since we had no idea what it was at first, a trip to the ER was in order.  This time though knowing that it was most likely synovitis and it would pass, no trip was necessary.

Secretly plotting my death?

It seems like every time these kids come down with something, I bear the brunt of it.  When they complain that their belly aches and they are not feeling well I know for sure that I will be doubled over in pain and puking my guts out with in a matter of days.  I know the whole story about men being babies when it comes to this sort of thing, but trust me, I can deal with a lot. I am never sick, but when I am, I am *this close* to my deathbed, and I am not one to complain about. I suck it up and deal with it.

I am certainly not a doctor, so I have no idea how this happens.  I would think that 38 years of various illnesses would leave me immune to what the kids bring home nowadays.  But it seems that what goes around their school, comes around to me. Maybe viruses have become much more complicated, much like Tyler's second grade math homework. I can't always figure that out, so this is something that I definitely can't comprehend.

What I do know is that by the time this pain in my hip reaches its peak, I will probably need a wheelchair.

Tyler is better now, thankfully the pain lasted only a day.  But that is no consolation for me as I know this will most likely be a weeklong struggle. Next time they come home with even a hint of a sniffle, I'm heading out of town.

I am too young to die.

How do you end up after your kids are sick?

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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Socially Social

I have never been this social in my life.

Growing up, I was always the guy that sat at home watching TV on Friday and Saturday nights, while all the other cool kids were off at their lavish parties.  Or hanging out somewhere deep in the woods so the cops wouldn't find them drinking or smoking or whatever else high school kids do. I guess it would have been nice to crash one of these shindigs, but that wasn't me. I had friends, just not the kind that hung out beneath the water tower. That didn't happen until college, not that there was a water tower, but there always seemed to be a keg somewhere.

Even then though I wasn't one to share my inner most thoughts, I am a guy after all.  Most conversations revolved around beer, babes, and basketball. Yeah we were cool. Hanging out usually meant watching Sportscenter or playing Sega Hockey (NHLPA '94 still remains the best game ever made in my eyes). That was the extent of our social lives.

Go tell it on the mountain!

It seems that most of my "friends" now exist solely online.  I think I have shared more here in the past year than I have in my 38 years on Earth.

Twitter is now like a bar, where I can pull up a stool and start a conversation with anyone, a real conversation.  I have met so many amazing and interesting people from all over the world that seem to be just like me.  Finding a support group has been awesome.  It can get pretty lonely being a stay at home dad. Sure there are groups out there with actual live fleshy people, but it takes a huge effort and a lot of travel to do that. Twitter has become somewhat of a refuge me, and I can count on it to take away some of the loneliness.

Not so sure I would give it a thumbs up

Facebook is very different.  I don't know what is real or not there.  It seems like people only post when they are having a super awesome day or are taking a trip.  I don't even know that half the people I'm friends with are alive until they go on vacation.  Then it seems that they won't stop posting about what an amazing time they are having, checking into great restaurants and sharing pictures of their kids with oversized stuffed animals.  Then there are those groups of people that take a road trip somewhere and constantly post pictures of each other.  You know the only people that care about those pictures are the people you are with. Have a conversation with THEM instead of telling US about your conversation.

Everything is social nowadays.

There are social readers that tell everyone what you are reading. Seriously, are we supposed to read together?  I thought that was something limited to bedtime between me and my boys.  There are photo apps that share all of our greatest photos. I am on Instagram, but I only take pictures, if you choose to follow me that's great, but I can't reciprocate. It's too time consuming.

Of course there are a million other social media venues that I haven't mentioned including Google+.  I was told that this was awesome but it seems that the only people that are on there are people that I already talk to on Twitter and Facebook.  How many different places can I talk to the same people?  How many different places can suck time away from something that I should be doing elsewhere? Maybe I should go back into my room and watch TV?

To find out what I am doing next* you can follow me at one of these places:

• Twitter
• Facebook
• Google+
• Instagram (jdubs44)
• Words With Friends (jdubs44)

*I will most likely be mowing the lawn

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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The Parenting Wars... Starring Legos

Everywhere that I have gone this past week someone is talking about The Parenting Wars.  It seems like most of my fellow dad bloggers are all up in arms over a post on Babble about things that moms do better.  I'm here to tell you a little secret, there are things that moms do better.  But you know what, who cares.  Be a dad and don't worry about what everyone thinks.  Oh and moms, don't make us look bad and say that we are clueless.  We're not.  We need to get past all this nonsense and just be the parents our kids need us to be.

We all just look silly talking about who the better parent is.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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The Perfect Parent?

I must have missed the awards show.

The Perfect Parent?

When did we decide that there is a perfect way to raise a child?  They never handed me a manual at the hospital explaining to me that there was ONE way to do it. Actually there are a billion ways to do it. Just because something works for you does not mean that it is going to work for me. Conversely, if there is something that I do as a parent with my kids that works, it might not be the best thing for you.

I am not going to go into your house to judge you as a parent and I would hope that you stay out of mine.  I was not put on this planet to judge or be judged.  I might have an opinion, but that doesn't mean what I think you are doing is wrong.  If it works for you AWESOME.

I know how hard this parenting business can be.  It's a struggle at times.  The only thing that makes it harder is when people question what I do and go on with their self righteous nonsense.  We get it. Your kid can walk and recite the alphabet before mine can even crawl, fantastic.  Mine can do things that your kid can't, like throw a baseball or kick a soccer ball.  Aren't kids great like that?  Each can do something that the other can't and it's not because we as parents are perfect.

Courtesy Time magazine

There has been so much talk in the past couple of days about this Time magazine cover with the lady breastfeeding her three year old.  Yeah it's a shocking cover.  Why?  Because it's something none of us get to see everyday. But we shouldn't be judging the woman for a decision that she is making as a parent, just like she shouldn't judge us if we don't choose to live her life style.

It works for her and for her kids and that's all that matters.  If you chose to breastfeed your child that long, that is your business.  We stopped at  the age of one, and that's OUR business.  If someone chose NOT to breastfeed their child for some reason that is THEIR business. 

We need to stay out of each others way and just let us be the parents that our kids need us to be.

If they handed out an award for the perfect parent, we should all get one

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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Out of My League

Baseball has always been my favorite sport.

I longed for the day when my kids finally were old enough to play in Little League.  Since I missed the registration deadline last year, this is the first year where they are finally hitting the diamond.  I have to say that the league that we are in has been great so far. Both boys have gotten the opportunity to play and they both really seem to enjoy it. Right now the league is stressing fun and fundamentals and since it's your typical instructional league, there are no politics involved.

Politics?  In kids sports?

I fortunately have not seen it yet, but I know it exists.  There will be a time when they have the opportunity to take their games to the next level and this is where politics comes into play.  Since I haven't experienced it yet, I thought that I would let an old college pal who's currently juggling parenting, marriage, work and coaching explain what is going on on baseball diamonds all across the country. Enjoy this guest post.

Out of My League 
By Dresden Wolf*

When my son started playing organized baseball two years ago, he was six years old and the emphasis was on fun and fundamentals. As parents, we were happy when they’d hit the ball without knocking the tee over, or run around the bases in the right direction (yes, we had a couple who tried to steal 3rd …from home). Hell, we didn’t even officially keep score.

But as the seasons went on, tee ball gave way to coach pitch, and coach pitch to machine pitch. In that time, a funny thing happened. My son and a few of his buddies got very good at baseball (pause to pat myself on the back as coach – ha ha ha), and the emphasis shifted. Now, it’s more like baseball. We not only keep score, but offensive and defensive stats. They’re eating sunflower seeds in the dugout. Kids SHIFT FOR LEFTIES. This shit just got real.

All of a sudden, everyone is scouting other teams, bailing to join travel teams, and our own house all-star process is worthy of an Aaron Sorkin screenplay. (Although I still don’t speak quickly enough to deliver the lines in one.)

I sigh and change the channel when I see “Pageant Kids” or “Dance Moms” or “I’m gonna grow up and have all kinds of issues because you started putting me in makeup and heels when I was 18 months old,” but I look around, and sports are no different. There are cliques, kids taking private lessons from coaches they won’t share. And everyone is jockeying to get on the “best” team with the best coach. Every playdate or schoolyard run-in is a chance to ask what team your kid is on, and if they’ve heard about the neighboring community’s travel team. There’s always rumbling about how competitive your league is (or isn’t). And everyone thinks they have an in because they know someone on “the board.”

As a friend said, “as long as the parents are involved, it’s always political.”

Back to my point. At the lowest competitive level, we’ve got 9U (the u is for “and under”) and 8U all-star squads. So, as you might imagine, many of the talented 8-year-olds try out for both. Where it gets sticky is when those 8-year-olds all get drafted by the 9U squad, leaving the 8U team with the less talented 8’s, as well as all the younger kids.

Having been to the tournaments these kids play in, an 8U squad of mediocre talent and a bunch 7-year-olds, no matter how good those 7-year-olds are, will get CREAMED. The other teams are huge. Like, “show me the birth certificates” huge. Then the kids will be discouraged, the parents will be sad, and the coaches (and the league) get blamed for setting the kids up to fail. On the flipside, a 9U team with a bunch of 8-year-olds will ALSO get creamed. BUT, everyone believes that “playing up” will get their kids a baseball scholarship (which coincidentally averages $5K, even at big baseball schools) and eventually into the MLB. But there’s a difference between playing with older kids and having your asses kicked by them.

So, is it better to be a big fish in a small pond? Or the smallest fish in a big pond? Personally I think being a goldfish in a plastic bag at a carnival is the worst, but that’s not relevant to this discussion. At the end of the day, I want my son to feel good about himself for being good at something among kids his own age. He’s got the rest of his life to compete with older guys for girls, jobs, social security checks, whatever.

Anyway, the opportunity to choose between the teams puts parents in a position to negotiate. And this is where it gets fun. Not.

So as the clock ticks on draft day (35 hours and counting), I find myself pouring over rosters, checking birthdates, and planning to call parents as late as 10PM on a Tuesday, trying to convince them to “play down” with the 8s instead of playing up with the 9s. Some have already asked “what’s in it for them.” Uhm, baseball…a uniform…a few nice days outside this summer? Some want guaranteed playing time, to only play a certain position, to bat ahead of (insert name here), or for their kid to be named team captain.

They’re EIGHT.

EIGHT. YEARS. OLD.

I joke a little, but I legitimately fear that the next call will be one asking for cash considerations or an actual contract.

Crazy, isn’t it? But in a world where kids get trophies just for showing up, and think they’re the best at everything, this sense of entitlement is not surprising.

But at the end of the day, the kids want to play. And at this age, they want to win, no matter what mamby-pamby, kumbaya, politically correct crap we’re supposed to be subscribing to. I still believe that kids’ sports should be fun, but anyone who’s ever competed with an 8-year-old boy will tell you, winning IS fun to them. So, we do what we can to put them in a position to win – or at the very least, compete. Because losing 24-2 because you’re out of your league stings a lot more than losing 6-5 to a team you can hang with. (I’ve done both.)

But if you’re a parent who cares more about telling people that seven-year-old Johnny “played ball with kids two years older than him,” than Johnny actually having fun playing, I don’t know what to tell you.

Ugh. I think I had a point, but now I’ve got a call from an agent on line two. (Insert touching conclusion that includes the phrase “for the love of the game.”)
___________________

*To protect the parties involved, mainly the kids, Dresden Wolf is not his real name.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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A Frog on a Bench... Starring Legos

My boys love watching YouTube videos.  Mainly it's some sort of Lego movie that catches their eye, or a superhero one, or even a combination of them both. They actually love watching my movies because they love to see what their characters are up to.  I love doing it because they are fun to make.  It does get disappointing at times when you see that so few are actually watching the videos, especially when you look at some of the videos that get a billion hits.  I mean do we really need to see a cat fall off of a TV or some kid bite his older brothers finger?  Honestly it's kind of annoying to see what people think is entertainment.  Then along comes the latest craze, so I thought, if you can't beat them... join them.

A frog on a bench?  What will they think of next, a squirrel on water skis?

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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What Happens at Disney...

We've been to Disney, a lot.

For some, I know that this is a once in a lifetime trip.  Myself, I never went to Disney until I had kids.  We didn't vacation much when I was a younger and when we did it was to the Outer Banks or Virginia Beach.  Maybe that was the same trip, but the bottom line is Disney was never in our travel plans.

That's all changed with our kids.

My oldest has been to a Disney related park probably around 20 times.  That includes Disney World, Disneyland, and even Disneyland Paris. Throw in a few cruises on Disney Cruise Lines and we are VERY MUCH a Disney family. Disney can be a daunting experience to plan for, as there are too many websites, books, and videos all telling you that has to be the case.  If you go on any of these sites like Disboards.com or Passporter.com there are literally hundreds if not thousands of people telling you how to experience Disney.

I am not going to get into any specifics about how to plan for a trip like this, but needless to say, if you follow all of the advice of everything that you read or hear, you will drive yourself crazy and never fully enjoy your experience.  I know people that have their whole itinerary planned out to the second, but if you do that, you will truly miss out on the magic that Disney offers. 

I have two boys so our trips are a little different than families with girls.  Sure we go on all the rides and see many of the same characters but we don't have to see ANY of the princesses which I know take up a lot of your day.  I've seen the lines and I don't envy those people in the slightest.  My oldest was always a Mickey fan, so we knew where to go and see him with the least wait (Hollywood Studios, One Mans Dream - skip the 15 minute movie and Sorcerer Mickey is right there).  Of course you could always dine with the characters so you don't have to worry about seeing all of them in the parks.

Why do we go all the time?

Sometimes I wish we didn't go as much as we do, but we truly love it.  I'll be honest with you though some of the magic has worn off.  Gone are the days where Tyler was running around hugging every character in sight or Carter would scream hysterically at the mere mention of them.  The fireworks shows have begun to blend into one another and the parades aren't the spectacles they once were.  But the boys are experiencing new rides every year and while the magic isn't the same, it's evolving.  The excitement of seeing Donald or Goofy has been replaced with the thrill of riding Space mountain. While they aren't scared to go in the Haunted Mansion anymore, there is a fear of falling to your death as they ride The Tower of Terror.  It's almost as if something new comes a long every time we go.

Disney is not for everyone and I certainly see where a lot of people would have issues with them.  We are not one of those families. I would never tell anyone that they have to spend their money and go to Disney, it's not cheap. I know that I am totally sounding like an ad for Disney right now, but it's probably my boys favorite place in the world so why wouldn't I speak glowingly of it?

The bottom line is, we'll be going back as long as the boys want to go back.  The magic won't last forever, so we will ride it as long as we can.

For some quick tips from a first time Disney visitor please check out my friend Daddy Knows Less.  He just got back and made a list of things he wish he knew before he went.

If YOU have any questions about Disney or quick tips to offer please leave me a comment below. 

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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Stop Motion Video... Starring Legos

It really is amazing what you can do on your phone these days.  When you think about it, the fact that you can call someone in China is really mind boggling, but now the phone is so much more than that.  It's a camera, a music player, and I am sure that it will make you coffee in the morning if you ask (there is probably an app for that.) I don't have to tell you what your phone can do, you are probably reading this blog from it as we speak.  I discovered something SO ridiculously awesome the other day.  Take a look.

We'll work out the kinks and see what we can come up with in the future.  The Lego Super Hero Movie Maker might just be the coolest app I have on my phone now.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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What Happened to Dad?

Was there some sort of apocalyptic event that wiped out all the dads from the planet?

It sure seems that way, at least in the eyes of Proctor and Gamble.  To promote themselves for this years upcoming Summer Olympics, it seems their latest tear jerker of a commercial has omitted one thing, dad.  What happened to him we will never know, but one thing is for certain, he is nowhere to be found in this commercial.

I'm not one to normally get bent out of shape over a stupid commercial.  I get it, moms do most of the shopping so companies target them.  They would be stupid not to.  But to run something like this is just wrong.  Don't most kids have TWO parents?

Where the hell is dad?  

Did he go to work, did he die, is he sleeping, is he in his recliner chugging beers while watching sports on TV?  We know one thing while watching this ad, he is not taking his kid to a practice or watching them compete.  That is moms job.

Dad won't be there to wipe away their tears after a tough loss or swoop them over his head after an incredible win.  Mom can handle it, just like she can the cooking, cleaning and whatever else she does around the house to make the family go.

In my family, that's me.  A dad of all people.  I'm shuttling the kids to various activities and coaching them in baseball this spring.  I guess to Proctor and Gamble that doesn't matter.  To the two little ones I do it for, I'm sure it means everything in the world to them.

Don't get me wrong, we all want to thank mom for the amazing job that she does, it really is thankless at times.  While it would be nice to see at least the hint of a dad in this ad, I am not going to plead to the higher ups at Proctor and Gamble to get that done.  As a dad myself I know how important we are in our kids lives.  If I want to see the power of what a dad can do to help his Olympian kid out, I will just watch this:

Thank you mom AND dad.

See? We can be there too when our kids need us the most.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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100,001 A Blog Odyssey

I never thought a number like that was even possible.  100K?  That is out of this world crazy, mind boggling really.  Sure there are sites that get that kind of traffic on a daily basis, but when you are a stay at home dad from New Jersey the thought that there would be so many people that would take time out of their busy lives to visit with me is something that I just can't comprehend.  I am just some guy who has the two coolest kids in the world and a crazy lego obsession.

100,001?

It's amazing what can happen in a little over a years time.

I set out to write the next Great American Blog, but something happened that was even bigger than that.  I found a community, one that I could relate to.  I found friends that I didn't even know existed in all the corners of the planet.  And while my blog didn't explode into a huge money making venture and the movie has yet to be written, I am fine with that.

I have you.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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A Visit to DC... Starring Lego President Obama

We were very fortunate to get away last week for Spring Break and head down to our nations capital.  My wife was there on business so most of the time was spent with me and the boys touring all of the sites.  I love Washington.  It has wide open green spaces, lots of historical places, and none of those skyscrapers that can overwhelm you at times.  There is a lot to see and do and you never know who you are going to run into.

It was one of those moments that i will never forget.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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Puppy Love?

Could it be that my little Tyler has a little girlfriend?  Or at the very least someone that wants to be his girlfriend?  He has never once mentioned anything of the sort to us and it would completely shock me if he did.  Tyler is a sweet little boy with many great qualities that any little girl would love, but he has always been into things like Star Wars and most recently Ninjago, not really things that appeal to the little girl set.

When he got home from school yesterday I went straight for his home work folder like I normally do.  It was empty except for this little handwritten note. I didn't see what it said at first and when I asked him about it, he took it out of my hands and said it was some project they were working on in school and he proceeded to throw it in the garbage.  Maybe I would believe him, but my kids never throw anything in the garbage, especially that quickly.

Did he actually think that I would leave it at that?

I was intrigued to say the least.  My son comes home with a note and I can't read it?  How do I know what this says?  It could be from the teacher right? Sorry buddy, but if you didn't want me to see it, you should have burned it.  After fishing it out of the garbage can I noticed that it did look like a school project but down at the bottom, there it was:

"I love you, your a little puppy dog! Aleah"  

I won't lie to you, for a moment there I was quite proud of the little guy.  Some girl at school named Aleah thought my son was cute enough to say that she loved him.  Maybe it's a little too early to profess her love, but still THAT'S MY BOY!  Maybe my son has all the charm that I lacked with the ladies?  Could this kid really be the big man on campus, something his father never was?  Finally a man in my family that didn't run and hide at the first sight of a girl!  My son, the stud!

Or, maybe not.

It seems as though he is a little too much like me after all.  What do they say about the apple falling from the tree? With a response like that, we might just have to hope Carter can carry on the family name instead.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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It's a Snap

This one would be easy for sure.

I have done a lot of comparisons of the boys, just to see what kind of simple skills they have mastered.  Every single one of them Carter has shown some amazing ability. Whether it was wiggling his nose, his eyebrows, or crossing his eyes he has always seemed to get the better of his older brother Tyler.  The only thing that Tyler could do that Carter couldn't was hula hoop.

Well this next comparison was one that I thought would come easy for Tyler.  Being more than two years older than his younger brother I thought that would give him the advantage.  But I was sadly mistaken.

Hopefully this is something he will figure out later in life, otherwise he is going to have a hard time summoning a waiter, or calling a dog, or worse yet, when he gets to that part in "If your happy and you know it" when he has to snap his fingers; that would be very sad.

Carter on the other hand will have no such issues.  He picked up this skill right away.

So once again Carter shows off his amazing skills.  I swear this boy is destined to do great things in life.  If there is a job that involves wiggling your nose and eyebrows, crossing your eyes, bowling, and snapping your fingers, this boy will be the CEO.  As for Tyler, I just hope these lack of simple life skills don't hold him back at all.  He's pretty amazing too, in his own way.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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The Anthem

It's not too often that you get your own theme song.  I mean seriously, can you announce to people that you have a song?  Well, I do!  Thanks to James at Edudad.com I can rock out all day to my very own song!

When I was in college, there was a band called Sons of Papaya that wrote a song about me.  I happened to run into the drummer in the stairwell one night after a long night of drinking milk and eating cookies.*  He started to repeat my name over and over, and when his band go together they started jamming to my name.  The song "Cabin Fever" was born.  I think its about a guy named John Willey (that's me) who runs into some sort of child predator, but the point of the song isn't the important thing, I HAD A SONG!

And so it happened again, this time because I have a blog and I play with Legos.  Thank you James for this:

I think he has promised a song to everyone he knows so you should definitely go and follow James on Twitter or Facebook.

*It was college, draw your own conclusions

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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The Egg Hunt... Starring Legos

Easter is fast approaching and that can only mean one thing, it's time for our annual Easter egg hunt.  The boys love going out in the back yard to find all of the treats that the Easter Bunny has left behind.  So much so in fact, that when we were given the opportunity to travel for Spring Break before Easter this year, Tyler insisted that we stay home.  He got a sad little face and wondered how the Easter Bunny would find him if we were cooped up in some hotel in Washington DC.  Who are we to shatter the dreams of a seven year old?  I can totally understand his reasoning, especially after last year.

I think we still have left over candy.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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Ramblings of an Aging Dad

My little Carter just turned five.

And so we start another year that will certainly go faster than the last.  It really is something that sucks about being a parent, life really moves too quickly to take it all in. How often have you heard someone say before you know it the kids will be off at college.  It's so true.  

I am enjoying every minute of it, but those minutes are flying by, way too fast.  The kids are getting so big and learning new and amazing things every single day.  You want to take mental notes about it all but there is only so much that your brain can store.  I have about 25,000 pictures that I have taken over the years with the kids in them, but who has time to look at them all?  Every now and then I will go and start to delete some pictures that seem redundant, but I find that I have a hard time doing that even with ones that are completely out of focus.  It's almost as if deleting the photo would delete a memory altogether.

It's really hard sometimes seeing them get so big.  You almost want to stunt their growth and keep them the way that they are.  Why does everything have to get old? It really sucks.

I look at my niece, she just turned 16 years old and she is already starting to prepare for life after her parents house.  She is really in the midst of thinking about college and already knows what she wants to be when she gets older, a doctor of all things.  I don't know what my kids want to be yet, but soon they are going to have to start thinking about that.  They will have to start thinking about what life will hold when they no longer live under my roof.  Their own house?  That's just crazy to even think about.

I honestly don't know how my parents handled it because it's something that I struggle with everyday.  How could they have a 38 year old son?  Where did that time go? Wasn't I just that five year old kid celebrating his birthday?   

I know if I continue to dwell on the future I am going to miss everything in the here and now, but it really is hard to not think about it.  It does go fast, too fast. 

My little guy is five? How? I have no answers. 

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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Wednesday's Window... Carter's Birthday

I really can't believe it, my little guy is turning five.  It seems like my oldest Tyler should be older than he is.  In many ways it seems like he has been around forever, but Carter?  I have no idea how he could already be five years old.  He has always been the cutest little kid and seems to be the same size he was when we brought him home from the hospital.  I guess it must be something with being the second child.  It seems like yesterday the little guy came into this world, and now five years later to see what he has become is just amazing.  I couldn't be more proud of him as he is just starting to learn how to read and write; and seeing him counting on his little fingers when he trying to figure out simple math problems, is one of the cutest things that I have seen.  He has been difficult to deal with at times, but when he is at his cutest, he is the cutest kid around (don't tell Tyler.)  Happy Birthday Little guy! I hope you enjoy a very special Wednesday's Window.

Carter shares a birthday with his older cousin Brian

At his Second birthday hanging out with Darth Vader

On his third birthday he fell asleep at his party

He's got a devilish little grin that is irresistible 

Him and his brother are both getting SO big

I can't believe how fast life is going by.  Five years.  Crazy.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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Bowling for Dollars

I always like to compare the abilities of my kids.  If you recall in the past I have tackled little things like crossing their eyes and wiggling their nose.  Carter has shown impressive abilities, while Tyelr has shown he needs a little more practice. Today I am taking on the issue of bowling.  In my family bowling is a big deal.  When I was a kid, I was in a league every Saturday morning and I loved it.  Both of my parents bowl and have been know to travel around the country to various National Bowling Tournaments. Before you get the idea that they are professional bowlers, you have to take into account that these events are held in places like Reno and Vegas.  I think they have other ideas in mind when they travel to these tournaments.

When I was a kid I don't remember having bumpers to use, so I can only assume that there were a lot of games where my ball was consistently in the gutter.  Kids nowadays have it easy, just throw it down the lane and let the bumpers guide it in.  Now that Tyler is getting older I am starting to work on his technique.  I am trying to get him to slow down and actually roll the ball, instead of just throwing it down the lane.

As you can see we are getting there.  It's going to take time to get the form down, and working on converting those spares is something that is going to take a lot of practice.

As for Carter, he is a little younger so i am not so much concerned about his technique. The fact that the ball is going in the right lane and does not get stuck somewhere in the middle is good enough at this point.  He does seem to understand the importance of converting his spares though.

Final score: Carter 10; Tyler 8.  Needless to say the results did not make Tyler happy at all.  Yet again Carter shows that he is picking up things faster than his older brother.  If Tyler wants to be anything like Grandma and Grandpa we are certainly going to have to work on his game.  One of these days we will find some ability that Tyler can master that his brother can't.  But so far it seems with Carter, we have created a superhuman child.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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Allergy Season... Starring Legos

It seems at though winter is over in our part of the country.  I have to say it really wasn't that bad.  We had a snowfall before Halloween this year, but other than one other snowfall, that was it.  It made my wife happy, but I have to say it was kind of disappointing not being able to go sledding that much with the kids. Now spring is here and it's great that the weather is getting warmer, but that also means Allergies are kicking in.  I never had them as a kid, but my son Tyler does.  And he gets them real bad.

I hope we get him on the right medication.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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How to Grow Your Blog by Eight Billion Percent

I don't normally write "How To" pieces but now that I have been blogging for over a year I consider myself to be somewhat of an expert in the field.  Sure there are others that have been at it longer and others that have a bigger following, but once you hit that year mark you know that you have made it.  Being a blogger past your one year "Blogoversary" (nonsense word) really does give you street cred in this medium.

I have a pretty decent following on Twitter and Facebook, but I can't be certain that at least three quarters of my followers aren't just spammers and marketers.  I will just go with the idea that there are at least a few people that are following me because they actually like to read my blog.

This not my picture

When you are an up and coming blogger you go anywhere to get information on how to grow your blog and gain more readers.  More readers meant certain wealth, and more wealth meant instant fame.  I know that I did, and really didn't find that much useful information.  I must have visited hundreds of sites trying to find the most foolproof methods to gain more readership.  All of them had the same nonsense about being yourself, finding your voice, creating a niche and the list goes on.

I am here to tell you the one secret that every blogger needs to know in order to get viewers.

Write a post on how to grow your blog!

I can't tell you how many times I would see a "How to" post on my Twitter stream and be compelled to read it only to find that same stuff about using Twitter and Facebook and all the great social mediums.  EVERYONE WAS AN EXPERT when it came to growing their blog, I know because I read them all.

Then it hit me, I had never heard of half of these blogs and most hadn't been around the requisite one year so they could not be considered an expert in the blogging world.  The only way that ANYONE visited these blogs was because they wrote a post about growing your blog.

It's genius right?

They probably didn't even know how smart they were when they were writing it.  I can almost guarantee that that post was their most read post of all time.  Whether or not people showed up for their next entry is besides the point, they had the hook.  They suckered me in and I am sure that I wasn't alone.

The truth is, there is no right way or wrong way to grow your blog.  There are no answers, I've looked. 

Trust me.  I'm an expert.

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?

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