June 6, 2011

Grape Ape

There are many things at an amusement park that can leave you scratching your head, none more so than the prizes people win playing those stupid games at the midway. You know the ones like ring toss, knock the bottles down, or everyones favorite, fill the clowns nose with water.  It's like your taking a huge hose full of Nasanex and blasting out the clowns sinuses.  I am sure he really appreciates it.  And what do you win if you fill the clowns brain with water?  Well to start you could win the MEDIUM prize which of course is some stupid little stuffed animal worth usually about 25 cents, this is a great deal considering you spent $5.00 in the first place to play the game.  Now in order to win the large prize you have to win AGAIN, and the Jumbo, yet again, but do you really want to, lets take look.
You can barely see the people behind it
Nothing says you are a winner more than having a giant purple ape.  I have no idea what you would do with one of these and I am sure that  at the time it was thought of as a good idea to win this prize, but as you are driving on the Turnpike with this thing in the back of your pickup, it has to go through your mind what a giant ASS you must feel like.  I don't even know if something like this would fit through the door of your house.  The dump has to be littered with these things.
woo, WOOF
If a giant purple ape is not your thing then maybe an oversized dog could do the trick.  I guess this thing would make more sense, but still WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?  It must cost you upwards of $50 to win this stupid prize, unless you just happen to be the greatest softball thrower in the world.  Maybe you could park this in front of your house to guard against thieves.  Certainly if they are not scared off by thought of an enormous guard dog, they will soon realize that your house has nothing of real value.
Who is up for some calamari
So you have crossed those two off the list and what are you stuck with, you have a choice between a jalpeno pepper with a chefs hat on, or this squid.  Well obviously a pepper with a hat makes no sense so you have to take a squid, its a no brainer, as in if you try to win something like this YOU HAVE NO BRAIN.  I once spent $50 dollars at ring toss at a carnival trying to win my kid the grand prize.  When a friend actually hit the grand prize we were told that we needed to actually hit something else, so we stole a bucket full of rings and walked away.  They were probably worth more than the Zebra I was trying to win in the first place.
Any trip to the amusement park would be incomplete if you didn't find your in-laws sleeping on some bench in the middle of the park.  Sometimes I am tempted to put a little cup in front of them just to see how much money they could make.  After all we could use the money to walk out of there with something totally awesome like a Rastabanana.
One love, One life... lets get together and feel alright

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?


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