February 1, 2011

Enough With the Panties!

I swear it never ends.  The washing machine in my house is constantly buzzing, 24/7.  I didn't realize that I opened up up  laundromat it my house, and the sad thing is I don't get paid for this.  I swear I must do laundry everyday, whether its a sheet that someone peed on, not me fortunately, or towels, or just clothes.  Its not stop activity in my laundry room.

Look at all of these symbols.  How many different ways can I possibly do this stuff?  The kids need there things washed one way, the wife needs her things washed another way, and as for mine well I don't really care as long as it smells clean.  I used to sort out the clothes based on color, you know whites with whites colors with colors, never the two shall meet.  Well that was before this craziness.  All the kids stuff goes in on warm and fast cycle, the wife's cold and slow, mine I have no idea, by the time I get to it my head is stuck in the spin cycle.  I think I have only screwed up a couple of things.  One of my wife's sweaters came out looking like it would fit a teddy bear.  I look at the positive, total boob shirt if you know what I am saying.  Nothing has ever come out pink that wasn't supposed to be pink thank God, but a couple of times I have washed and dried a diaper which can get quite messy.  Picture all of those super absorbent diaper crystals all over the inside of the washer, yeah not fun.  My wife thinks I don't do the laundry enough, at least hers anyways.  There is just too much of a science to her clothes, I mean some things can get cleaned regularly other I have to use Woolite, I just don't know anymore... so it sits until I get the mandate.  Sometimes I feel like Cinderella not being able to go to the ball until all the laundry is done.  I don't think I will ever be able to go at this rate. 

I guess its not so much the cleaning that bothers me, I mean its not like I have to go out in the backyard and beat these things on a rock, its all the folding!  Everything has to be folded so neatly as to not have one wrinkle, because God forbid you have a wrinkle in front of someone, how embarrassing!  Ironing?  Forget it.  I iron once every six months when I have to put a dress shirt on.  Its really why I don't go to fancy events.  That and there is just too much laundry to do.  CALGON TAKE ME AWAY!

John Willey - Daddy's in Charge?


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